upon a falling star...

Dilemma

2012-01-29T17:21:00.003+08:00

I need to ask something.

How do you know when someone is selfish?

When someone thinks of themselves and not think of others?

I don't really understand.

I've been thinking about it for the past 1 year but I can't really find an answer.

Situation:

If you ask your friend to do something for you, and your friend doesn't want to...

You get angry.

Is your friend selfish because he/she doesn't want to help?

Are you selfish because you want someone to do something for you?

Does anyone get what I'm trying to say?

Because your friend can be selfish if he/she doesn't want to take his/her time off to help you. Your friend can be self-centered

OR you can be the selfish one because when other people are not doing what you request, you get angry. So in a way, you're just thinking for yourself.

So now, who is the selfish one?

I can't seem to find any answer.

Some people may think it depends on what is the 'thing' you request.

But does it really matter?

Big or small things, they are still favours you do for your friend.

That's why when people do not want to help me I won't dare to say that my friend is selfish. Because honestly I may be the selfish one.

And yet in the past I've always been blaming the other party to be selfish.

HOW SELFISH I WAS. to be blaming others and not blaming myself.

Now I would like to talk about friendships...

Speaking of favours,

does anyone realise we've always been setting limits for the amount of favours we should do for our friends?

Like, if I helped you like over 10 times and you just helped me twice, I shouldn't help you anymore.

Lol what happened to friendships?

What happened to people being kind and generous?

What happened to friends always helping you when you're in need?

But I can't blame anyone.

I know I'm the type of person that likes to help people.

Over the years I've always been helping.

Not that I expect people to return my favours.

But when you've always been helping for years,

you realise that no one is there to help you.

Not only me. I know a lot of us are like that.

Not because people do not want to help us,

but it seems like, we're not even appreciated, at all.

Idk how to put this.

It's like you're a doormat, letting people step all over you, but yet you don't mind

Cos you're a doormat.

It's like helping too much that you're not even helping yourself.

:(( I'm having so much dilemmas these few days.

Ok now I'm gonna rant on plastic surgery. It's gonna be short.

WHY PEOPLE NO ACCEPT PLASTIC SURGERY?

Not that I wanna do plastic surgery but it's just a way or method for people to look nicer and gain confidence! What's wrong with that?

Which girl doesn't wanna look nice?

Are you telling me you don't want to look pretty?

If so then why do you all pose or make act cute faces in pictures???

Why do you put braces?!

plastic surgery is just like braces ok.

Both makes a certain aspect of you look nicer.

If you're so against people looking better than I suggest you should live with your crooked teeth for the rest of your life.

Stop being such a hypocrite ok.

Character

2012-01-21T16:51:00.003+08:00

This post is gonna be really wordy because I do not have any pictures to upload :p

I have a boring life as you can see.

I will squeeze out 4 photos to upload though

*thunder just scared the shit outta me*

Last week we had our E-zones and we won 2nd...

At least we didn't lose all LIKE WE ALWAYS DID.

Oh well could've won 1st la but we weren't on form.

So you can say I'm contented with our results la.

we don't deserve to win if our standards aren't there right?

The third week of school is over

This week past so much faster than the previous week.

I swear it felt like it was 2 weeks instead of one.

Horrible, and terribly exhausting.

Some updates on school:

1. CNY is so cool. But I'm wondering where our school got the money from to hire external organisations to come and perform... I thought they quite low on cash one thats why sell stamps???

2. 4A the CNY deco is like best. I swear. I don't have pictures though.

Each table were clothed in red and there was this table with some chinese deco or dk what things on it. It was so red it reminded me of a marriage chamber LOL. But seriously, a lot of effort and all.

3. I'm in the banded class for EL!

This is damn stressful sia. Mrs G said other classes write 2 essays, we write 4.

To put it simply, we're just given double the work so that our grades can be pulled up to distinction (A1, A2)

I'm glad that my grades will improve at least but I'm also kinda stressed out.

Then she said: " You can sacrifice anything, but NOT your L1"

Pressure is on.

4. We only got 4 girl juniors -____-

Trying not to be angry at the school but this is fairly ridiculous. I'll try to summarise in point form.

School doesn't allow softball to recruit sec1 boys due to low intake of boys this year
They wanna reserve the boys for UG
on CCA day: Initially 2-3 boys wanted to join. Asked Mr Tong for permission, and he said find 7 more enough to make a team and he will let them join.
Did that, and he didn't allow.
Also, another teacher (shall not name) came to the field and asked, how many girl juniors did we cheat. (KNNBCCB I HOPE YOUR BALLS DROP IN YOUR SLEEP) #pissedoff
After a week, UG too many boys. ( SEE LA DUN LET THEM JOIN SBALL, YOU ALL ZAI)
Another teacher (shall not name) told Jeshua softball is a lousy CCA. obv jeshua was angry and talked back and then they keep exchanging lines blah. And this teacher dun wanna apologise in front of the class, only did after the class, 1 to 1. Just another egoistic person eh?

Yeah so this sums up of how pathetic my school is.

Not everyone, maybe just the people who have more authority.

I hate to say this man, but it is so disheartening to see that our leaders/teachers are all people with rather sucky character. And you expect to cultivate students to be leaders? Seriously?

Yeah if you wanna do that you have to change a lot of things ok?

And I thought leaders are supposed to be forward-looking (as learnt in SS)

Now you let all of them join UG also too many people.

So where is the Anticipate change and stay relevant principle in our school leaders?

Furthermore, since you know UG too many people, why don't just let the 10 guys join our CCA? Will die ah?

I know la, cos you all were so keen on not letting us recruit jnrs right, if you all were to give in to us, will lose face mah. Hor?

People, this is our school. These kind of people are our leaders. We have people who are biased, prejudiced, egoistic and self-righteous. We have these people who plan to lead us to the 'right' path.

Not that I'm blaming you all. I understand why you don't allow them to come into our CCA. I know you all are trying to make the best decision. But since numbers are too numerous, shouldn't you just scrap your plan and go back to what it has always been?

Very difficult ah?

Also, TEACHERS PLEASE STOP BEING BIASED. You just make students despise you. Stop being stereotypes. Stop being prejudiced. Stop being condescending. START TREATING EVERYONE EQUALLY. Start to see the good in people. Start to understand. Start to accept that EVERYONE IS NOT PERFECT.

I admire teachers for a reason. Cos their job is so tough and students nowadays, I admit are getting out of hand. yet they still wanna teach and guide us. But you know what, teachers like that are endangered. They are diminishing in numbers. What kind of teachers do we have right now? Just listing some possibilities...

1. Can't find a better career

2. Still bounded by their 3 year contract

3. Teachers don't get sacked unless you make a grave mistake.

It's so frustrating even for me, as a student, to see teachers like that. And I used to think teachers were the great people everyone idolises cos they are so mature and all.

Scrap that idea off my mind now because reality isn't like that.

Not trying to say anything mean about teachers.

But trying to point out that they should do the right things when they should, be less egoistic, be careful of what they say, be more sensible and sensitive.

You guys preach of values but that's just talking. What happened to walking the talk?

We all can be fragile and we all have emotions. So can you please not say things like "How many girls did you all cheat?" If you don't know anything, just stfu.

I will only respect teachers that should be respected.

Cos if teachers don't respect us, why should we respect them?

Respect is earned, just like trust. Not a given just because you're older.

Whereas for greeting 'good morning' etc, that's just basic courtesy.

I realise a lot of people can't differentiate that.

OK LA enough ranting

5. Look at our CNY class board!!!!!!!! LOL ok la not very nice but if you go closer it is nice. I know it looks like we anyhow one.

4K classboard.

Can you all see the 2012? I think only 30% of the people can see it. LOL

But after I say there's a 2012 people confirm can see one.

I know it looks damn plain BUT

The rabbit ears we used white cotton fabric.

The fire of the dragon we use some plastic thingy.

The chunlian we write our own one.

Me and QinLin

omg colour difference so much :(( Did I mention I was badly sunburnt after the Ezone? :(

*Notice the noticeboard at the back was originally white.

We thought it was too plain so we spray painted it and it became the product.

Anw one zilian of myself HAHAHA ok byebye ppl happy CNY :)

1st week of school 2012

2012-01-07T16:14:00.003+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR PEOPLE.

(i know this is very late)

This will be my first post of 2012!

So I will be blogging about first day of school,

timetable, Adam Khoo workshop etc.

And prolly be typing things that are debatable too.

Cos I've been wanting to type it for a long time

but recently i feel more like voicing out.

I like my cashmere top ! Bought it from Bugis Street 2nd level Girl Shop

I think it's only $16

There are, well, some changes to school.

Like how my class is NO LONGER on 5th floor (YAYNESS)

and my co form is Lily Koh.

I don't really mind her and I expected to get someone as strict as her anyway

Cos our class conduct not very good hehe.

There are 2 days in which we end school at 250pm,

and now one period is 40 mins.

I feel that it's weird to have one period as 40 minutes.

Cos it's troublesome to count.

Adam Khoo workshop was beneficial and I like our instructors.

This is already my second time attending and it still is interesting.

Somehow it's more of like a self-discovery journey la i think.

But i think I already know a lot about myself and being in this just reminded me who I am.

I know a lot of people benefited too.

If you didn't right, it's probably because you don't let yourself benefit.

We can find the best speakers, the best teachers or anyone that can help you.

But if you don't allow them to help you, then I guess you can't be helped.

And how do we allow someone to help us?

When we change our mindset and actually want to learn.

It's like everytime if we don't do well,

It's probably because we do not allow ourselves too anyway.

And a lot of people cried.

And when ytd ( last day) when everyone crying cos of the mic session,

one parent playing iPad. #isalutethee

Ok let's talk about this.

Is it really that Gen Y is too pampered/spoilt?

Idk if I talked about this in my blog but I did share it with people.

I know a lot of people have been throwing insults and criticising OUR GENERATION.

For various reasons,

like we don't give up our seats.

we don't dress 'properly'

we are rude to our parents

we hang out after school.

THE LIST GOES ON.

Ok since I'm from gen Y, people will think I'm just protecting my own G.

Well then that's when you are judging. lol noob.

I'm just gonna try to establish some understanding and hope that people can stop bashing us with nasty remarks, cos honestly we are all human and we don't like hearing things that hurt us/accuse us.

Well, only if you allow me to explain.

If you are reading with a mind like

' This girl confirm say things that don't make sense. '

'Aiya read also waste time.'

Then fine, whatever.

I don't need you to read anyway lol, not my loss.

Actually I quite happy go lucky one these few days..

LOL. No la! eh but really ah, if got guys reading this it's true that when got period girls will pms one ok. we just feel exhausted or easily irritated (especially ppl like me :x ) when on period. So please try to understand sometimes cos cramps can be really painful too.

People say that... we have everything.

iphone ipad ipod Mac Book blahblahblah

and we still ask for more.

NOT THAT I DENY THAT.

But what about the older generation?

All these are luxuries, wants, not needs. and yeah we can make do without them.

But not like you people don't do it too.

Do you see old aunties playing with their ipad or iphones?

YES YOU DO.

There's your answer.

All of us, IN THIS ENVIRONMENT, in this era, WE ALL DO THIS.

Just that some people choose not to buy la.

You know why?

Cos they don't know technology. SIMPLE.

If you know technology, you will be curious by all these gadgets and AT LEAST, in your lifetime, you will touch or even play this gadgets once.

Makes sense right? we are born curious.

and we are ALWAYS curious.

Besides, clothes are also luxury what.

Why do we buy so many then?

why not just wear the same clothing everyday? RIGHT?

Adults also do that what.

Not only Gen Y people are in the shopping mall mah.

People, before you all scold us right, you have to think about yourself you know.

Cos some of these things right, is our generation, learn from older generation one.

E.G. GAMBLING. vulgarities too

hahaha older people if you are reading this you shud be guilty.

Whether or not you got teach your child, your child will still learn, don't learn from you, learn from friends lor.

Friends learn from who? Their relatives lor!

especially during CNY. This is a norm already, all the children gamble. ok la maybe like 70%.

I'm talking about teenagers hor not 8 year old ok.

You all say that GEN Y do stupid things

LIKE: not studying, go out with friends too much etc.

Excuse me, you young that time, never make this kind of mistakes issit?

OR IF YOU REALLY NEVER RIGHT, then you should be a rich person now cos you will be successful in life. Yes?

But that doesn't make you mature if you are successful.

Cos being mature, you need to learn from mistakes and experiences.

So what if we do these things?

everyone makes mistakes.

That's how we grow, and eventually become a mature person.

Do you plan to protect your child and stop your child from doing anything wrong?

YOU CAN'T DO THAT.

You know it's inevitable.

you can't protect them forever.

And once in awhile you got to let them fall to the ground, so that they can learn.

That's how we learn things.

We always have to experience something bad first before we learn the value of something.

TRUE?

Next.

You all say that we don't know how fortunate we are, that we are all so shallow. Last time only have 5 stones, now we all got iphone.

Yeah it's true. This is true, cos technology wasn't great then.

but think about it.

IF YOU WERE IN OUR SHOES,

If you were raised in the exact same era, environment as us,

Wouldn't you want to have these gadgets to play with too?

People who don't think about it and immediately come up with an answer no, well clearly you are not thinking deep enough.

Imagine if everyone has an iPhone,

You play their games.

You like their games. But go home you no iPhone, can't play.

You like how iPhone is so convenient.

You are from an average family, got schooling, 5 room flat, parents working. And you are a teenager.

You sure you won't ask for something like that from your parents?

Cos you will be thinking 'my friends have I also want. and besides, my family CAN afford it.'

and to your parents, it's not a big sum of money.

you will probably find it hard to imagine,

because older people now, THEY ENVY us.

they envy our education,environment.

If they were to go back in time, they would study properly.

That's what a lot of people would say.

But if you put yourselves in our shoes, then you would know that our decisions are just normal.

I can't really explain this well, it all depends on how well you can imagine.

Oh yeah, another thing.

When I was at sball chalet macs, everyone didn't clear their trays and left.

And then the table beside mine, (i was left alone cos i was waiting for a friend) one guy (corporate office worker) said in chinese:

" Nowadays the students hor, don't know how to keep their own trays one. Everytime must wait for other people to come and wait on them. So immature."

ERHEM. bitch.

Somemore right, IS PURPOSELY SAY LOUD LOUD FOR ME TO HEAR. since I'm alone la and im supposed to clear like 8 fucking trays.

1st thing: DID I SAY I WON'T CLEAR?

no i didn't. my friends won't clear, nvm. I clear for them. Cos I don't want to trouble the cleaners too.

2nd thing: WHY MUST YOU GIVE ME THAT CONDESCENDING LOOK ON YOUR BITCH FACE?

now that is immature. You say so much right, and since you so mature, YOU COME CLEAR LOR. If you really mean what you said, then why don't you set a good example and clear?

And stop bitching about people? Huh?

3rd thing: Why you seem so arrogant? Not like last time you learnt to keep your own trays right? I bet after awhile then you start learning cos maybe ur parents or someone told you so.

4th thing: WHY MAKE A GENERALISATION?

"nowadays the students..."

Wah, eh ah beng, you so sure that everyone is like that is it?

You got an eye on every furniture, infrastructure, leaf, and can make sure that everyone in gen Y don't keep their trays?

No? Then stop judging, bitch.

COME ON MAN.

What is this?

Are you sure that sometimes the younger ones are immature?

It certain cases, the older one can be more immature.

Like the above guy.

IT DOESN'T MEAN IF YOU ARE OLDER, YOU ARE MORE MATURE.

Doesn't mean you are an adult, you can criticise anyone on any mistakes they do.

Cos you probably made the same mistake before. noob.

You don't have a right to.

But what you can do, is tell people nicely to keep their trays la.

WOULD IT HURT TO BE NICE?

If you told me politely to keep the trays pronto, I will.

One thing about people is that we find it hard to be nice.

So nvm, I pissed, not at my friends, but at this guy.

But still, I sms my friends that they shouldn't leave their trays behind.

Cos I want them to learn how to keep their trays. I always do.

and I will feel bad for the aunty if she had to clear all the trays too.

So, I stare at this guy, this guy still smiling at his colleague with that evil glint in his eye.

Then I stood up. Clear 4 trays at a time.

I'm not doing this just because someone said something about me.

I'm doing this to show him that there are people, who can do the right things.

But obviously with that airhead of his he won't be able to think this deep and think until like that right? My predicted reaction is that he will do that jibai face again and smile sacarstically to his colleague and talk about me.

He will probably say in chinese " Wait until people say already then will clear."

AND YES THAT HAPPENED.

Yes I heard it.

Yes I predicted it.

It's not hard to predict you know.

This kind of people right, with this kind of character, will always have the same kind of behaviour.

They will confirm suck up to their boss one.

They are suckers for money.

They like to criticise people.

They like to judge.

They themselves, are not very responsible too.

I wonder if readers agree with me.

Up to this point. Cos I think it's a very long post already.

It's wordy but I hope I didn't bore you out.

Conclusion:

I know that sometimes we teenagers are really stupid and immature, but everyone is once like that. Everyone makes mistakes. And you can't just judge people if you don't know our background or environment. So can people stop judging us?

Can people stop saying nasty things about us?

Can people try to see the good side of us?

If you keep focusing on the bad side, you will only see the bad side.

Alright, im done. BYEBYE PEEPS.

Let this world be a happy place.

I hope we can all learn to be more understanding :)

2011 in a flash and new NYR

2011-12-27T00:28:00.008+08:00

This might be a boring post cos I have a boring life ( or maybe not so )

Gonna post the memorable things that I've had this year.

Rewinding 2011..

1. 3K'11

27 people strong. :)

I think we're pretty darn cool lol

2. USS

I'll never go on the two rollercoaster rides ever again :p

3. Phuket

How long since I traveled overseas?!

excluding China Trip.

It was prolly around 7 years.

Love the snorkeling and good food + good shopping!

and this puppy!

4. Tons of CIPs.

And this walkathon from mountbatten to ecp i think.

AFTER THAT WAS MINI GOLF. no pics tho :(

5. ASG

Good experience and I still love bear. :)

and I won't forget how upset and angry I was on the last day.

6. Organising softball chalet.

It was obviously very stressful and it really made me angry.

Not being a sexist but it made me not wanna trust guys anymore.

Need I say more? Please go back to softball chalet post here :p

But it was fun la, with my teammates. It was a success in the end!

OK NO MORE ALREADY LOL.

Just 5 things but I guess it's good enough. :)

I hope my life gets better each year.

When the going gets tough, the tough gets going.

I'd rather have a disastrous life than a monotonous one.

Life is worth living because of the different experiences.

If you get the same thing everyday, how can you enjoy it?

Besides, beauty can be seen in all the bad things too.

Beauty of life can be found in anything :)

NOW.... for my NYR... aka New Year's Resolution :

Let me copy and paste my NYR for this year. LOL.

NYR for 2011:

71% for level percentage!
Get A2 for geog
Reach 155cm at least!
Don't go over 50kg HAHA!
Be a good student.
Try and be late for school ONCE!
Get along well with new classmates! ^_^
Be satisfied with my results
Improve in softball
Find a crush

WOAHWOAHWOAHWOAHWOAH LOLLLLLL.

Ok hmmm..... Let's see.

NYR for 2011:

~~71% for level percentage!~~ (DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE!!!! YESSSSSSSS! Cos I improved a lot this year.)
~~Get A2 for geog~~ (I GOT A1 AND 3RD IN LEVEL YES YES YES YES. ok im so gl now. but I'm really happy. Never thought things like this would happen)
~~Reach 155cm at least!~~ AND I DID IT. I think. Unless I shrink.
~~Don't go over 50kg HAHA!~~ (let me take my weight now... Ok I weigh the same as last year. so I'm not over 50! btw this is a damn stupid NYR!!!!!!)
~~Be a good student.~~ ( i have no idea. I think i am? :p)
~~Try and be late for school ONCE!~~ (late on rainy days but also nvr kenna anything :o)
~~Get along well with new classmates! ^_^~~ (YUP. Love 3k.)
~~Be satisfied with my results~~ (I AM VERY. )
~~Improve in softball~~ (definitely, absolutely, positively. I can say for sure my pitching is good and I can actually make it from bad to good now. Last time when it's bad it'll just suck the entire day. Look forward to me posting about top8 people!)
Find a crush (HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM........... this one idk leh.)

Ok as you all can see right,

I've done everything...

Except maybe the last.

I don't know if I did leh.

Maybe I did. But maybe it didn't last for long.

Maybe it existed, but I didn't acknowledge it.

I'll just leave it as it is!

Ok so now I needa make new ones..

SO...

NYR for 2012:

Reach 160cm :O
Top 8 or top 4 for nationals.
top 2 for Ezone.
Do well for O levels.
Be more motivated and hardworking and work towards my goals!!
Find a path I wanna walk.
Be more mature and a friend that everyone can depend on!
GO OVERSEAS WITH TEAMMATES ♥

I don't know if I have anymore to add on.

But that's all for now.

I was packing my table just now,

and filing everything

I realised that 1 year passes really quickly

and I still remember packing my table last year, like it was yesterday.

This year was really enjoyable and great!

2011 was a year that taught me hard work is an ingredient for success

Love is hard to find
Insecurities are like chains that bind the real you.

People cannot always be trusted.

You can't trust the ones you trust most to not hurt you.

Crying changes nothing but makes you feel better.

People change, they always do.

The only thing that doesn't change is change itself.

It's one year that I won't want to forget but it's a shame that it's gonna end really soon.

I know everytime a great year is about to end, I'll be quite sad about it and not look forward to the new year. But this year, or like today, I decided that..

I will welcome the new year, and accept any challenges that life is gonna throw at me!

I know things will be hard next year and all,

But now that I've found something to live for,

things just became easier.

It's always easy to do things when you've found a reason to do things.

So people? How was 2011?

P.S Have you all thought that we're all gonna grow up really soon?

If each year is gonna pass by so quickly like 2011,

Then 4 years can feel like 4 months and we'll be in university/working already.

It's really scary isn't it?

We're slowly stepping into society and into adulthood.

Have we all matured enough to go into that?

Are we all responsible enough to carry responsibilities?

Have we even thought about the rest of our life yet?

White Lights

2011-12-25T00:24:00.005+08:00

SO PEOPLE, it's Christmas!!!!!!!!!!!

Everyone's been looking forward to this day right?

Lol no I don't celebrate Christmas so I don't look forward to it too.

What's there to look forward to?

Anyway I made some Xmas cards.

But all for my teammates only lolol :x

And I was really proud of my drawing skills.

Like sudden improvement sia!!!

Heeheeee.

Ok la not very nice in the picture

But i swear it looks a lot nicer in the card

I only know how to draw hair lor i swear.

Entire card. Yup this card is for Jean :)

FOR CAROL!

Damn nice right? LOL look like doll cos got makeup :)

On Christmas Eve I went shopping. Which was like a few hours back la.

it's 2am now so it wasn't too long ago.

And ytd just happened to be one of those days when I dun feel good about myself lol.

Like everything I wear also feel damn ugly.

I was like that for an hour.

Until I finally thought,

" aiya so ugly alr wear ugly things also nvm no one cares."

Then I brightened up and wore one of my favourite outfits lol.

But really right?

If you're ugly no one really cares about how you dress one.

So it's stressful to be pretty cos everyone will look at you.

I don't really like a lot of attention.

A little will do :p

and yes I had centre parting :p

Anyway my fringe long already so it looks fine :)

I shopped at Bugis with my mum.

Bugis is the best man lololol.

It's like the kind of clothes that I want is all there.

Like those Korean/Japanese type one.

Those super kawai one!!!!

And I realised that a lot of people dress older than they are.

Like especially when it's obviously too matured for you

Haha that's why I say,

Everyone is trying to be older than they really are.

But what for? We'll have our time to do that anyway when we really get older.

Why don't treasure our youthful looks!

and actually dress like a teenager.

Next time can't already lor

3 for $10 rings!

1. WhiteMoustache Ring

Saw this on many blogshops. The black one always looked nicer in pictures

But in my opinion, when you wear both and compare

The white one is a lot nicer!!

2. I have no idea what is this ring lol.

But I think it's really complicated and pretty!

3. Leopard Print Heart Ring.

A picture of my haul but then I bet you can't really see anything.

And I lazy take out packaging also.

anw I'm totally in love with this shop called 'Girl Shop'.

The bottom 2 shirts I bought them from that shop.

And it's only like $16 each sia.

And the material is good and the design is damn pretty.

Next time I wear I will post a picture.

It's located on Level 2!!

Bought this pair of low cut boots!

NICENICENICENICE!

FOX SALE SO I GO BUY SOCKS YAY.

I always buy socks and accessories at FOX.

I know you guys thing the material is cloth BUT IT'S NOT.

It's a bit rubbery but not so also. Idk what is it.

Anyway I had a fruitful shopping day today.

It's been so long since I've shopped with my mum so it did feel good

Ate Billy Bombers for dinner somemore ^^

I like to stare at people on MRTs when they stare at other people's phones.

Then when the people I stare at turn their heads and see that I'm staring at them, I would always grin LOL.

Cos it's like lol caught you red handed.

They probably reading what the person is texting one la kaypo ttm.

And MRT train intervals are a lot shorter now sia wts.

like 2 minutes one train come?

WOAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH :O

My bro gave me a box of markers. There's 30 markers in it :O

hahaha I feel so happy now cos I love stationery.

Just makes doing work a whole lot more joyful. :)

Anyway Happy Christmas to everyone.

Even if you don't celebrate it.

7 Things that people do to make themselves seem cool

2011-12-21T01:33:00.003+08:00

In this post, I'm gonna talk about what things people do to make themselves look/feel cooler. And I can tell you some things are really stupid! I'm sure everyone has that one friend (or a bunch of them) that always try to be cool. But in your heart you know that they're quite fail. So here I'm gonna post what things people do to make themselves cool but i think it kinda backfires.

1. #likeaboss

Ok for people who have Tumblr, I'm sure you know what is #likeaboss. It's something like #swag, but this is cooler? Anyway, I'm not saying that people can't actually use that. You CAN, but use it PROPERLY. Not like," I'm walking in the rain without an umbrella #likeaboss. "

OKAY. HOLD UP! That's stupid. What angle of it does it make you like a boss? And on the side note, have fun catching a cold later on. :)

2. #swag

I'm so sad to say that these two Tumblr terms are so overused these days. -_-" Need I elaborate?

3. Smoking

SMOKING DOES NOT MAKE YOU COOL. Please keep that in your head. This is for all the little kids out there who are about to go astray. Committing suicide the slower way isn't cool. I think if you wanna die, the much cooler way is jump off a building. But obviously don't kill yourself, ok?

Smoking gives you bad breath. Ugly teeth. And a whole lot of health complications. Which results in a lot of money! and I doubt anyone would want to kiss an ashtray.

4. Dating many people and your relationships don't even last for a week.

PLEASE. A player is not cool. and right, why would you want to play with people's hearts? Seriously man get a life. and it's a waste of time too -_-"

5. Acting like you know something.

Don't you hate it when people talk about your favourite band and act as if they know everything about them even though they are not even a fan? Plus, they've probably heard the band's name like only 3 times. Then they start agreeing with everything you say about the band or what not. This does not only apply to bands la, can be anything, games or whatever.

These kinda people, follow. They do not have their own views. Even if they do, they don't voice it out. Like, if you tell me that you don't know this particular band or you're not a fan, just say and we can immediately change the topic what. Why must you act like you know a lot of things? Make people pissed off only. And obviously you're not being fair to yourself anyway.

6. Dieting

It's true that girls wanna look good. And looks, do matter to a certain extent. It can vary for everyone. But I think dieting should be done the healthy way. Not like when you're already severely underweight, and then you still diet. Say bye to your boobs and hello to osteoporosis lol.

I don't get like why some people don't eat at all, and even when they do they eat energy bars wtf. Seriously? There are obviously better and healthier ways to diet. You're just starving yourself and depriving yourself from all the goodness of food!!! That's damn stupid sia. Like once I lost 4kg in 2 weeks just by changing the proportions of my meal and watching my diet. It's not impossible to lose weight effectively the healthy way. And no I don't eat salad when I'm dieting.

I think it's damn stupid when girls keep starving themselves so that they can look like everyone else or models. Yeah thin is nice but thin isn't nice on some people. And VERY THIN is not nice AT ALL.

You'll just look bony. like you're gonna die of starvation.

7. Bullying

SAY NO TO BULLYING PEOPLE.

Need I explain what's bullying? Let's cut this short. I know that nowadays MOST girls like to look at people and comment on their looks. "Wah she damn ugly." "she fat sia." "Her legs damn short."

OK. Bully more and people will commit suicide. We all know the after effects of bullying on the victim. We all do. We can don't bully people. But we still choose to. What goes around comes around. Maybe next time you're the one bullied.

fact: People who get bullied are usually the ones that bully.

Try not to bully ok? Make this cycle stop.

Stars like fire

2011-12-16T02:49:00.003+08:00

VOILA HOW DO YOU ALL FIND MY NEW BLOGSKIN?
I originally didn't want this background,

But if I chose the other one you can't read the words at all, sigh.

But I guess this is fine? Yes? Haha! New Year, New skin.

Have I mentioned what I want for Xmas yet? I THINK NOT.

Ok time to get started!!

let's put it to 10 wants:

P.S I think some of them may sound more like wishes.

Top 8 for nationals! COME ON AHS B'girls I KNOW WE CAN DO THIS. Top 4 is not unattainable. Hope my sprained ankle heals fast fast fast.
A DRESS LOL. I know my body just can't look fantastic in dresses but I wanna try and find dresses that actually look nice on me. Don't you hate it when everytime you try on a beautiful dress and it just looks damn suck on you? #firstworldpains
Christmas presents HEHE. Nah the only presents I will receive from are prolly my team mates.
Grow taller. omg. please 160cm can anot ._.
Maryjane flats/platforms cos they're so pretty
The rest of December to be wonderful
Hopefully not cry on New Year's Eve cos I will always cry when a fantastic year ends. Unlike last year cos 2010 sucked like shit
Eat AJISEN VOLCANO RAMEN. Eh jean, on anot? ;)
People to pay up money so that I can have my $45.75 back
GROW TO BE WISER AND MORE MATURE BUT STILL BE VIBRANT!

Yeah ok i think these are wishes lol.

Santa (if you ever existed), please help with my list.

How has 2011 been for all of you?

Honestly, it was a year that's so full of joy and laughter but of course tears and pain do come along with them. It's always a package.

It has been a fantastic year. I did many wonderful things and apparently did what I thought I always couldn't. Did what I thought I would never do.

Like pitching really fast and actually getting below 200 for level position.

Getting 2nd in class.

Getting 3rd in core geog.

Doing ASG

Go snorkeling

The list goes on. I feel accomplished and have a sense of achievement.

I do wonder how next year will be like. I know it will be a bumpy ride though.

However I guess there will be many things to look forward to :)

So how was your year?

2011-12-10T16:46:00.002+08:00

I don't know why I've been doing so many quizzes/personality tests

I feel like I have the desire to discover more about myself.

Perhaps I do not understand myself.

So I did a test.. Just wanna paste some results.

For future reference, and in case some of you are interested

Go to ColorQuiz.com if you wanna try it out.

This saddens me the most lol

"Emotionally distant even from those closest to her."

Ok yeah it's true. But having something to confirm it just makes me feel worse.

You know what I mean?

Just like when you have an uncertainty about something, at the same time you're curious about it, then when some neutral source confirms it or when your friend confirms it,

You either feel really happy or really sad :/

My Actual problem:

"Feeling a lack of energy, she does not wish to be involved in further activity or give in to demands. she is feeling powerless causing her stress, agitation, and irritation, all which she tries to escape by refusing to participate altogether. she tries to escape into a fantasy world where things go her way and her desires are easier to reach."

Please note that when I was doing this quiz (like maybe a minute ago, I was super emo lol)

Ok yeah but I'm an escapist, cos really in reality things just seems to be too difficult.

So life sucks !

I appear to be such a weakling.

People call me strong.

But maybe inside, I really am just a fragile person.

Feel like my whole life has been a masquerade ball.

My hands don't wanna be without Your hands

2011-12-09T00:42:00.005+08:00

Just here to update about Softball chalet and upload some pictures from Phuket that I just received!

BTW i'm so sorry I do not have the snorkeling photos :((

But this is just about what it looked like...

This picture was taken from inside a tank.

So just imagine seeing THIS many fishes swimming around in blue water.

It's a really pretty sight!

LOOK AT THIS PUPPY. :)

LIKE AWWWWWWWWW....... WTF CAN I BRING IT HOME :((

When I was there it was only 3 weeks old! And it's so cute and cuddly and it's fur is so soft....

And I feel like I can read dogs' behaviours right now because I watch too much of Dog Whisperer.

At one point this puppy was actually shivering and my mum thought it was cold.

But hell no, it had its tail in between it's legs so it was probably nervous and fearful.

Or what Cesar Millan would love to call,

" Submissive state. "

This funny guy we saw at Phi Phi Island when we first got there. Playing guitar in a cute manner and unusual outfit!

LOL at this signboard! IT'S DAMN COOL HAHAHA

So let's update about softball chalet right now!!!!

As some of you may know, the preparations were really screwed up.

Like the pricings, organisations, and people going MIA so on and so forth.

And ultimately we only had 4 amazing people to organise everything.

Standing ovation for: Xin, Hil, Jean and I ^^

Like wts why people don't want to pay up money, and even now, after the chalet, we're still in debt -________-

Can you all just fucking pay up thank you very much.

And is we owe others money, not owe ourselves. Ok la also got owe me money. Sian

Ok I shall complain later.

1st day: 5th Dec

I don't know if I dreaded this day or not.

Part of me wanted to just get this over and done with,

Part of me wanted things to go really smoothly,

Part of me wanted to have some fun too.

F.Y.I 4 of us burnt midnight oil like the few days before the chalet just because of #peoplenotgoingchalet

lolol our hashtag we created.

Like honestly can't you all just make up your mind of something and spare us from last minute work? Hillary stayed up the most. until 6am for two days.

I only lasted until 430am LOL

Ok so when I woke up and I saw a dreadful message already -_-

It's from one of the sec1 boys that said he wouldn't be attending the chalet at all but he would be paying his money.

I was like, " wts hope no more smses telling me they won't be going cos we're really short on people already nehneh."

But kudos to this guy for the second part. AT LEAST HE IS GOING TO PAY. God bless this guy thanks.

Went to school early, at around 830am

And we started preparing for all the games.

There was, paint twister (or flour + food colouring twister), dog and bone, electricity and broken telephone. and of course the infamous waterbomb.

Had to deal with some problems along the way but ultimately things went well and the juniors really enjoyed it. That was a MAJOR relief for us!

Like we spent so much time just to plan all these and finally it paid off.

But it was too early to say, it's only the first day.

However I do have to point this out.

I don't get why our juniors have to let down their hair.

Not hot meh?

Or want be glam only?

I went back home to get my stuff for chalet then went back to downtown east to collect BBQ food. The rest went to get shirt or get lunch.

When I got the food, -_____-

wtf this part pisses me off.

THE FOOD GOT NO PROB.

But... WHY GIRLS MUST CARRY SIA, nehneh.

Like some of the guy juniors also walked past us yknow,

then we ask them to help us carry they dun wan help.

WTF SINCE WHEN WE SEC3S BECOME UR SERVANTS.

WE PLAN THE CHALET ONE LEH NEHNEH.

So in the end it was me, jean, sean, lyn and kirk's father LOL.

Kirk's father is a nice guy !

He helped us book chalet and help us bring the food up too.

And in the end when we don't have adequate money to repay him, we told him we pay him about $300 first then he said ok. SO NICE!

When we finally checked into the chalet, I crashed onto the bed and laid there for 5 minutes.

Felt so good to finally rest for awhile.

Then had to do admin stuff again, like learn how to check out and then preparing games for Amazing Race the next day.

We had a really tough time.

Coach came and helped us BBQ! He was the chef of the day haha!

Kudos to him too! Like honestly, and his food tasted good, not undercooked or overcooked.

Oh yeah then he bought 5 bottles of 1.5 green tea,

Me, jean, hillary and yixin came back all gone sia NEHNEH.

Walao can't keep some for us meh,

i shall stress this again.

WE ORGANISE ONE LEH WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway this whole thing made me very angry but very happy at the end, explanations later.

We got some food and went up but then people started coming up so we moved down.

We rather get bitten by mosquitoes and attacked by ants then see ppl.

So we went down and spent time talking to coach and some of the seniors.

BBQ-ed with coach until 1pm.

GARLIC BREAD FTW.

Went back to the chalet and was really drained but can't even sleep.

Had a nap though, less than an hour.

And CX say chalet sucks and I was like, WTF YOU TRY HAVING 4 BRAINS AND ORGANISING IT.

Ok la I didn't verbally say that but those were my thoughts.

Then I got very angry -_-

like why do people not appreciate things that you painstakingly do?

Why can't people just say a polite " Thank you " or "we appreciate your efforts " ?

Is it really that difficult to be nice?

Is it really difficult to just show some appreciation?

Is it really difficult to say comforting words?

why do people have to add fuel to fire? ._.

Honestly if you think it really sucks you can just leave lor FINE BY ME.

Honestly, we thought of just cancelling the chalet few days before cos we know that no one will appreciate us and we had no idea why we were actually doing this chalet. Let me find some of my tweets and paste here...

Tweets came from before chalet

jeanmeanpie Jean Ng

@Silentkiller_ @vannwhitte @yixinscoops we should make #Peoplenotgoingchalet trend before we sleep

Silentkiller_ Hillary ♥

@vannwhitte Let's make a new hashtag #peoplenotgoingchalet hahaha

Silentkiller_ Hillary ♥

#Peoplenotgoingchalet should pay more cause they don't have to do all this shit work.

jeanmeanpie Jean Ng

#Peoplenotgoingchalet like faith, carol and nicole so smart

Silentkiller_ Hillary ♥

PLEASE TREND THIS NEW HASHTAG #peoplenotgoingchalet BY RANTING ABOUT THE PEOPLE WHO DON'T GO FOR CHALETS WHICH ARE ALR PLANNED. #newhashtag

jeanmeanpie Jean Ng

#peoplenotgoingchalet depriving me of spending quality time with my bed

Silentkiller_ Hillary ♥

Cup noodles at 1:45am in the morning. #Peoplenotgoingchalet you will pay for this! >:-(

Silentkiller_ Hillary ♥

Burning midnight oil not slang anymore. Now is called burning 3am oil for the #peoplenotgoingchalet haha.

vannwhitte Vanessa Neo

People that not going chalet should pay more cos they don't have to go through the trouble of doing anything regarding this.

vannwhitte Vanessa Neo

#peoplenotgoingchalet , especially those that actually said they were going are fucking bitches and are not needed in this world

vannwhitte Vanessa Neo

We only got 4 brains to plan pratically the entire chalet. We zai or what?

Silentkiller_ Hillary ♥

Chalet can cancel one anot ah

4 Dec Favorite Undo Retweet Reply

vannwhitte Vanessa Neo

Maybe we should cancel chalet. AWESOME

vannwhitte Vanessa Neo

Now that we know the truth behind the chalet, I feel fucking cheated. WE SHOULDN'T EVEN PLAN THIS CHALET

Yup that is all!

TWEET SPAM ON MY BLOG LOL.

But can you feel all the tension among all these tweets?

SERIOUSLY?

And regarding the truth behind chalet,

we realised it's just a bonding camp for juniors.

Seriously, if the four of us knew this (ok maybe excluding yixin cos she very nice),

we wouldn't even organise this chalet.

We thought this chalet was a gift to our seniors,

that's why we painstakingly organised this.

But no it's supposed to be a bonding camp.

WHAT FOR, when our juniors don't even like us wts -.-

anw they already had bonding session organised by sec2s in the beginning of the year

So why do we need to do it again.

ok sorry rant so much.. where was I?

OH YEAH SO DON'T FUCKING SAY THE CHALET SUCKED OK WE DID A LOT OF WORK HERE YKNOW PLEASE SHOW SOME APPRECIATION YOU ASSES.

Anyway it sucked a little cos very little ppl stay over so thats why at night got nothing to do :p

I guess that's why the seniors say it sucked.

BUT ANW CAN DUN MAKE IT SOUND SO BAD ANOT

Woke xin up at around 5 or 6 am??

She was sound asleep when me and jean were beside her and I started whispering her name.

and she actually responded and when she woke up she thought it was in her dream.

I suggest everyone tries this.

Like when someone is asleep, you can whisper weird things, or offensive things and they will have funny reactions.

I suggest:

" Your crush asked me out. "

" You so ugly "

" Why do you have so much armpit hair? "

LOLOLOL ok I was kidding about the last one.

Just make up some weird questions/comments! Trust me, this is a good prank.

Video it down too HAHAHAA

2nd day - 6th December (i'm so sorry it's already 6th in the above)

ME AND JEAN WENT TO SLEEP LOLLLLLL.

I think we were the only ones that actually sleep in the day.

I think Bang Yi too.

WATER SIGNS FOR THE WIN! (cancer, pisces, scorpio)

How can people stay awake in the day.

See like right now it's 1am ++++ and I'm still wide awake. -_-

Just that later I have to force myself to sleep since there's training at 9am.

Sorry for digression

Amazing Race and some people decided not to come and some people decided to come lolol.

Had major changes to groupings and what not.

After amazing race, PHEW. Went back to sleep again :p

Jean and I were at the same station and we cleared our station really quick.

Ours was the first station that all 4 groups finished

so we went to slack and get ice cream and even had lunch while when we went to the gathering area, the rest haven't even arrived.

Seniors and juniors both said that it was fun. PHEW. Success!

Went back, napped, and mahjong HAHA!

I can't really remember what happened throughout the night but then it was nothing much cos we were all doing our own things already.

oh yeah, there was MRT game and I can say that it was insane.

Didn't participate in it though since I'm such a serene person HAHAHAHA.

There was movie night too.

Guess that's pretty much the tradition.

And we sec3s had to clear up the mess EVERYWHERE.

Honestly, when did we become servants?

It's not like we are paid to do this man.

But I also can't stand the mess.

Huiting said I have OCD :(

For organising mahjong tiles really nicely into the box

I FEEL SO WEI3 QU1

Things I remember were:

Gossip session with jean, xin, huiting, rw and cx but cx slept halfway

Breakfast

Sleeping

Well our gossip session lasted for quite awhile anyway

i dun like CBF!!!!!!

Oh and commenting on who is pretty and who is not

Shoot shag marry.

and juniors drawing on bangyi's face LIKE WTFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!

ok shall not comment on that anymore. -_-

Last day nothing much, just checked out.

that's pretty much it.

I guess I really ranted a lot.

But no hard feelings, I was just saying everything I truly feel.

I'm really glad that everything turned out as planned ultimately, but seriously there were a lot of shit going on too.

AllAboutPisces ♓All About Pisces♓

When a #Pisces actually opens their mouth, And tell you how they truly feel?! You will probably dis-like them afterwards. ha ha!!

People please don't start hating on me lolol.

//P.S I feel so sad now cos so many things are happening sigh.

Sometimes I wonder what will happen if I really type out here what I feel everyday and if I really treated this site as my diary.

Cos people don't really know me yet, I don't say how I TRULY TRULY feel everyday. Cos people judge.

and you know what sometimes I do say the things that I've been hiding for so long, but people don't actually notice it. When I actually say them tears sting my eyes, but people just think that it's just a casual remark. Is it actually a good thing that no one understands me yet?

I'm just afraid no one will ever understand me.

//P.P.S Can we all learn to be a little nicer and more cooperative?

That's what I learnt from this softball chalet.

Things will just fuck up even when the minority doesn't agree to work together.

We're all of the human race, why can't we just learn to give and take?

Can we all stop being selfish?

#nowplaying - My Hands

Phuket Thailand

2011-12-01T22:55:00.013+08:00

I was on a 3 day 2 night trip at Phuket, Thailand!

And overall, it was really exciting.

Probably because of the water sports like banana boat.

There was parasailing but after banana boat I got no balls to go parasail T.T

I shall do it next time. And it costed like 1100 baht. Which was quite expensive!

Ok so we landed in the afternoon.

On the way to the hotel, we took an hour long taxi ride to the hotel...

There was one part that was winding up the hill.

Gosh that was horrible, for a person with motion sickness.

After that I couldn't even walk straight -_-

Am glad that Singapore is small and MRTs are so convenient!

We got to our hotel, which was only 2-star, (bro choose one) and the aircon wasn't working! Plus, the toilet made weird sounds once every minute so we changed our room to the best room FOC!

Mind you, it's a 2 star hotel so the best room was still quite meh.

Like a normal room you find in 3 star hotels.

Okay so our first destination was to the beach!

This is me in my disgusting beach outfit and in a toilet taking photos.

Don't blame me cos the lighting was really really bad in the room!

Toilet was so much brighter

-_-

I don't have a swimming costume or bikini cos I'm not a swimmer LOLOL

Don't know why I still agreed to go to Phuket -.-

So yeah my disgusting outfit. :/ don't laugh at me T.T

Along the way, we got hungry and saw an ice cream stall...

...

TADAH!!

It's like Cold Stone's Creamery kinda ice cream

And it's like 5SGD only!

The yellow is Cookies and cream, Pink was strawberry and Brown was Dark Chocolate.

Yummz x 10000!!!

It tastes really good and the waffles were not soggy!

Quality food at low prices! ♥

When we went out of the store, we saw a food stand...

Okay I know you can't really see the food from here.

Basically they just sell oily and fried foodstuff on satay sticks.

Like Chicken wings, hot dogs (omg their hotdogs taste different but damn nice!) and chicken, squid etc. cheap like sai lor less than a dollar and is one big piece of meat!!!!

In case you're wondering that is my brother's current gf.

Walked all the way to the beach...

I think banana boat costs about 500 baht which is around 21SGD.

I'm sorry there's no pictures of us doing the actual banana boat cos by the time my mum figured out how to use the camera we were done with our banana boat :/

In case you're wondering what it is, it's just this boat that is being pulled by a speed boat at high speed and they try to fling you off your own boat.

If you don't know how to swim like me, it's fine cos you will have a life vest!

It was really fun! I fell off thrice! And swallowed sea water and puked it out immediately -.-

It's really like fucking salty. The worst water ever tasted.

Even when you are dying of thirst NEVER DRINK SEA WATER. You will just make all your cells crenate and shrink lolol #biostudent

Anyway at first it's like quite peaceful and it's a breezy ride. Then when you least expect it you finally get swung off the boat.

I AM WEARING PANTS OK.

IKR my hair -_- and I'm so unsexy T.T even my mum sexier siol

They are persuading usto parasail now.

Like i mentioned i no balls to parasail after the banana boat.

bro and his gf went!

They said that parasail is like sightseeing, not as intense as parasailing.

Cos there is this 'Monkey Boy', which is a very experienced parasailer (i guess) that will climb onto your parachute without any life vest or strings or belts attached and help you control your parachute. If you ever go there you will be awed at how this Monkey Boy climbs up onto the parachute when it had already taken off! Incredible!

The sunset!

Bro preparing to parasail

My bro... is the one in the air!!!!

Landing soon...

HAHAHAHA a dead pufferfish we found on the shore.

RANDOM. But it's cool and scary!!!!

After all these water sports we went back to our hotel to get changed.

That is my bro walking around half naked and me being unsexy again.

YOU KNOW HAHAHAHA

After that got a few Thai little boyboys went to touch my bro's boobs HAHAHAHAAHAH It was super funny lol and he was like stunned and let them touch sia WTS!!!

Lesson: Don't walk around half naked if not ppl touch you.

went to the mall nearby BUT IT WAS FUCKING RAINING :(

And i was the only one wearing long pants. Why I so stupid!!

Ate dinner! STEAMBOAT!!!!

Took some pics...

Bought some food too!

Did some shopping at the night markets cos it was late and all the malls were closed!

Tiring day. Went to bed and the next day had to wake up at like 6am.

For a person that always wakes up after 12pm, this is considered TOO EARLY.

The next day, took a minibus with a few other tourists to the ferry port.

and omg it was a 2hour ride to our destination...

Talk about motion sickness again.

THEN WE WENT SNORKELING!!!!!

( in my disgusting beach outfit if you're wondering)

Maybe I should get a bikini set/swimsuit even though I don't swim.

Cos I look horrendous :/

Like all the angmohs all wear bikini I one ulu small kid (i think I am the youngest) wear shirt T.T

AND I DONT HAVE PICTURES FOR SNORKELING.

Cos I didn't bring my camera. I scared I lose it since I already have problem staying afloat even with a life vest and a float -_-"

Maybe if bro gf got send to me then I will update again :)

It was hard to breathe in from the tube at first.

Firstly, entirely not used to it.

Secondly, disgusting plastic taste omg.

Took my first breath and I felt like I was about to faint.

But later in the water, the saltiness of the water helps you stay awake HAHA.

BUT IT WASN'T AS SALTY AS THE SEA WATER I MENTIONED BEFORE.

It was interesting to see little fishies and their coral reefs from above.

Neon coloured fishes!!

And we got to feed them.

When you place bread into the water, a school of fish CHARGES towards you and nibble nibble nibble. A little scary but a nice thing to see.

This was all after snorkeling.

sceneries were beautiful and breathtaking.

Then we later arrived at Phi Phi Island. Pronounced as pee pee island.

It's an offshore island and a tourist hotspot. There's a lot of shopping here that can be done! but the prices are a bit... Hmmm... expensive lor.

You need to know how to bargain.

AND I WENT THERE SUDDENLY I KNOW HOW TO BARGAIN HAHAHA WTS.

Instinct kicks in when you need it the most.

We had buffet lunch. And the tom yam soup was DELISH. Spicy spicy spicy omg damn nice.

And the seafood were all quite fresh!

After lunch we went shopping. I didn't really buy quite a lot cos the things quite ex.

But I bought a pair of boots for myself at around 32SGD and the material is not bad sia.

Later I will post pictures of my haul.

Got some things for my friends along the way too!

My bro and his gf went to do fish spa HAHA.

Eat away their dead skin.

Back to Phuket, another 2hour ride... ._.

CHANGED AND WE GOT GOING AGAIN.

Ate this chicken Kebab twice. It was really really nice.

It's like a bit sour cos of the sauce and the meat is so tender and juicy.

Veggies were crunchy too! Went shopping around and had troubles finding the toilet.

They don't have toilet on every level of the mall one sia :/

I think I too used to SG's way of life.

I also couldn't find a rubbish bin -_- I had to actually walk around in circles then realise there was none on the floor I was on. zzz....

I prefer SG.

every few metres got rubbish bin HAHA.

We got Dairy Queen, which was an ice cream brand.

ICE CREAM...

THAT DEFIES GRAVITY. HOHOHOHO.

Awesome stuff. Really. And I know I am #awkwardturtle in all these pictures :/

So extra sia.

I bought a book by Alexandra Potter from B2S which is like their Times bookstore.

Had dinner at Jeffer's

Their Chilli and Ketchup looks like shampoo.

And their food was nice too! 4 of us ate and it only costs $20SGD.

It's not fast food, it's western food. And that cheap. whoaaaa.

Walked around some more and bought a few more things for my friends.

Along this street there's a lot of nightlife going about,

Girls pole dancing and all.

Lol some girls dance like damn wtf -_-"

Just shake their butt only but not enthu one HAHA.

Who am I to comment anyway?

But there was this girl that was dancing on the second floor

and people can see her from below.

SHE DANCES LIKE A ROBOT.

Pole dancing. Not robot dancing.

I swear we all thought she was a robot.

Even a group of tourists.

Until suddenly she stopped and the dancer changed.

She danced so smoothly and kept doing the same moves it really seemed like she was a computerised machine.

And the day ended.

This is how short my trip was HAHA.

Feel so glad to be back in SG.

I MISSED THE WATER.

and modes of transport!

I still remember I turned on the tap there then brown water flowed out.

._. scary sia

MY HAUL:

2 books. The one on the right I bought it at Changi Airport! NO GST!

Top 3 are mine. Bottom 3 are my mum's.

The one on the right (brown) was supposedly for you, yixin. My mum took it!

And i finally got a romper. (top middle)

Everything else in this picture is for my friends, except for the boots!

And I feel bad for myself, cos I got more things for my friends than for myself :O

POLAROIDS:

The end. :) Woah i typed this for 2 hours!

Personality

2011-11-23T23:41:00.002+08:00

Totoro is really cute :)

Ikr I'm always not okay -_-

But I spend everyday alone ;'(

I guess there's nothing much to update about during the holidays

Cos mainly it's just CCA. and more CCA... and more CCA

However I am going to Phucket in like a few days time and I sure hope I will have some pictures taken to update my blog!

Also softball chalet is coming and I think we are screwed lol.

The pricing haven't even settle yet wts :/

Anw I feel confident for nationals next year.

MUST WIN.

...

So I did a personality test out of boredom.

Interested to see what I got? ;) It's rather true except for one part...

Shall underline the parts that are 100% true

Your view on yourself:

Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:

Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

P.S Wts ppl find my straightforwardness attractive? Lol and I think I actually hurt people with my comments. but some ppl say I say things at the right time. and I'm not that straightforward. *shrugs*

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

P.S Education is probably important to me cos I want to learn about things.

At least education made me civilised (i think i am)

And I live curious :)

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

P.S. Me, pratical? Woahhhhhh seriously hahahaa. Hmmmm...

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

P.S I feel like I'm putting too much pressure on myself that's why I am afraid of failure lol. And my life is screwed already failing will just make my life more screwed wouldn't it? But then again failure is always a stepping stone to success.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:

You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

Need I elaborate more? HAHAHA

It's just the job part that I'm not sure of.

I know I confirm won't want to be lawyer or whatever one.

Not those jobs that confirm can give you a very good pay check.

But I might be a doctor or lecturer. ^_^

People might not think I will be able to make it or they will think i don't have the looks of it.

Ultimately, it's just interest.

I'm quite interested in the medical research area, and in teaching.

I just scared i accidentally kill someone or my students bully me (LOL cos everyone bullies teachers)

And my friends say I can't teach pri or sec sch kids cos I will just erupt and scare all the kids away.

Yeah maybe 10 years down the road Imma be a lecturer teaching uni students already.

Who am i kidding? Lecturer cannot so fast one la.

We'll see...

Pass me a Gun

2011-11-21T22:19:00.002+08:00

Totally feel like shutting down.

Cos my dad is a disappointment.

Truth is, are you even my dad?

Or have you been this way all this while, since I was born?

Feel like I shouldn't have trusted you.

I don't know why I forgive you.

I deserve a better dad, I do.

I deserve a better parent, and a better life.

You know what angers me a lot?

When people use FML loosely.

Like:

"I'm so ugly. Forever alone. FML."

Bitch your life is rather perfect.

Only problem is yourself.

If you perceive yourself as ugly, then yeah you are.

What right do you have to say FML?

What do you know about mental torture?

Why is everybody hating their own life?

I would so very much love to have your life right now cos mine sucks.

But yet i never said FML once.

Cos I know I'm not the person with the suckiest life

I know that it's still better somehow.

But people who are REALLY fortunate,

Please count your blessings.

Fuck your life?

I think you should fuck yourself. Seriously.

Still remember when I got hit by my dad.

like da fuq?

and I bled from my nose.

I still remember that so clearly.

I know you and mum are separating soon.

Honestly, I just want to remember the good things about you.

Days pass, and no you are becoming more of a fucking bastard.

I have nothing to say to you.

Hope when we separate I will have a better life.

And I hope you do too, but since you yourself as a person is this screwed,

you're pretty much hopeless.

GOOD DAY.

10 things before I die

2011-11-10T21:02:00.006+08:00

#Pisces never take things for face value & see it's always more than what the naked eye can see.

-@AllAboutPisces

That's totally spot on LOLOL.

Please refer to the sidebar,

'Everything is not as it seems'

Am I the only one that wants to remain in my childhood?

Am I the only one that doesn't want to grow up?

Am I the only one that just wants things to never change?

I see so many of my friends getting so grown up,

Going to work during the holidays and stuff.

And I'm like,

The only one that's trying to enjoy my childhood.

Lazing around, and being like a kid!!!!!

Maybe people want independence?

Maybe people just want to grow up?

Maybe people wants to be realistic?

Maybe they are more mature?

But doesn't growing up give you a lot more shit?

I think maybe I'm thinking too much.

Maybe I'm childish (shit I should stop spamming maybes)

But I don't get why people don't want to enjoy their childhood and wanna rush into adulthood

Childhood is the time when you laze around and do nothing productive and everyone thinks it's normal!!!!

I mean, imagine you're an adult and you stay home and play Box Head

What will people say?

Shouldn't we just spend our childhood enjoying ourselves and spending time on ourselves?

And somemore it's JUST the holidays =.=

Dude you all not tired from sch at all ah still can go do research and work or wtv.

Ok nvm stfu from this shit

I will treasure my time being 15 and sec3 cos I know time will never turn back.

Here are a few things I wanna do when I grow up:

1) Go to a Farmers' Market

FUCKING COOLLLL AND LOOKS DAMN NICEEEEE

All their crops look so damn fresh

Don't you feel like eating those apples already? Yummm

2) Have my own compilation of poems

Hohoho I already have a few poems I just have to go search for them :x

But I just wanna compile them as a book and probably keep it for myself

3) Go to Japan

Ok maybe I'm just interested in their Anime/Cosplay :x

But no I wanna go shopping there and look at all the pretty women!

I wanna go to their subway station and order their vending machine ramen

I wanna do a lot of things there actually :)

Japan wait for me!

4) Go Parasailing

Anyone adventurous will fucking love this

I wanna do this, instead of the free fall one.

That one I might just faint in the air before I even open up my parachute and land on water and all my bones will break and I will die a really painful death while I'm unconscious

That's not how I wanna die though HAHA

5) Go to Classical Music Concert

Preferably Joe Hisaishi or Nobuo Uematsu's

Or anyone that I know or really idolise

Hehe Classical Music Concert always so grandeur one

will make me feel veh important ^-^

6) Be a housewife :O

IDK WHY BUT I WOULD LOVE TO STAY AT HOME AND DO HOUSEWORK HAHAHAHA

But in case my plan fails right, I still have my education so I won't die out there hehe.

Tip: Always have a back-up plan!

7) Dye my hair light purple.

Like that.

Or if I too scared then I just wear wig HAHAH

8) Travel to Europe at least twice before I die

MUST MUST MUST MUST MUST MUST MUST.

I wanna see the beautiful night scenery and yummy food :( all before I die

9) See and feel snow

SG Y U NO SNOW ?

Last but not least

10) Perform once more

Musical or dance, i think i will take it

My love for arts will never die :)

AND GO MILEY!!!!

OK so in conclusion right,

I will be a housewife, with purple hair,

a part time poet, part time performer,

that will be old and still love anime OMG.

Can you all picture me in the future?

Hope not :p

Like a shooting star

2011-11-05T21:25:00.005+08:00

"If you're walking down the right path and you're willing to keep walking, eventually you'll make progress. " -Barack Obama

This blog post is about paths, about decisions, about choices.

If you all have been following me on Twitter,

You will know that this whole week has been really intensive.

Cos of CCA.

Not that I dislike CCA

It was really such a tiring thing. If you train almost everyday.

And cos there's this workshop,

Okay I went.

But it made me quite discouraged actually, even though it helped a lot.

Because the position I play is SO crucial,

And everyone there is like, woah zai kia sia.

Lol and I'm like, a wimp.

I know how my teammates have been telling me that I'm already good.

BUT THEY DIDN'T SEE THE REST.

They are like, super good. A lot better than me.

Sometimes, I feel like I don't deserve praises.

And seeing that everyone is really good, I myself got stressed out.

Lol that's why our school can never get into top 4.

Unless we have players, as great as them.

Here's what happened:

The taiwanese coach was talking about our pitching.

And asked us in mandarin, if anyone wanted to be a national player. Or a national pitcher.

Go overseas and play with other teams, perhaps.

When I first heard it, I was stumped, literally.

And quite a few actually raised their hands!

I'm partly in awe, and amazed, but skeptical too.

Do you know how hard it is to be a successful sports player in SG?

Chances stand at nearly 0.

We don't have players like that. Even I don't dream to be a national player!

In that sense, we are not as good as them. Can't compare.

But we choose to walk different paths,

and will be happy and satisfied in the ones we choose.

I can tell they love what they are doing, very, very much.

I wish them all the best.

And it's cool to have a dream like that.

IT'S BRAVE TO HAVE A DREAM LIKE THAT.

When she saw that not all raised their hands, she was surprised.

I think she thought we all wanted to be national players, at least have such a goal in mind.

Sad to say, not everyone is the same.

I have a path I want to walk. But I'm not too sure what I wanna be.

I just have a rough image in my mind.

However, I know that I do not want to walk down the path of sports.

No matter how much I love sports, no matter how fun it is,

I still think that there are more important things in this world.

Like saving nature, animals, OR humanity.

We need help.

I think sports is more for leisure, or it can mean real business.

But I wanna get real.

I don't want to see the world end anytime soon.

Cos we destroyed it.

I wanna do something that is a lot bigger than just winning a game.

I wanna do something that is meaningful.

It's a path I choose to take.

And I know it's unconventional.

But boooo to office jobs. -.-

Boring, and meaningless to me.

I don't really know what I wanna be just yet.

But I'm enjoying myself, walking down the path, that I KNOW is right.

Even if I do not know where I'm going, I'm happy.

I will go where life takes me.

Not saying I will give up sports.

I will not give up on my CCA

I'm just, really tired of it.

Lol and my dreams of going top4 are dashed anyway.

Cos we don't deserve it anyway.

There are many other schools that deserve to go into top4.

For us, a top8 is good enough.

It's weird when we lose to another team, and get angry at them.

Shouldn't we be angry at ourselves instead?

Why be angry, and insult others, when they are better?

I will still persevere though. it's just a few more months.

I will make the best out of this time,

and in turn it will make me into who I am supposed to be!

Since I have already chosen softball as my CCA,

I shall do my best and make sure I do not regret anything.

Anyway, point of this post is:

Have you found a goal in your life?

If you do, please, do not disregard the other things.

It teaches us a lot.

If not, my tip is:

Just do what you are passionate about.

That simple.

Do not be afraid of going down different paths from your friends.

Do not be afraid to make the less chosen option.

Do not be afraid to do something what others deem different.

After all, everyone came from different walks of life,
That's how people meet, and this is what makes the world more interesting.

Difference sets us apart, but brings us together.

Do you choose to believe that difference makes the world go round?

I do.

If difference doesn't exist, the world would be just a black mass.

Close your eyes, that's how it would be like.

Nothing at all.

Things in life are always simple.

Why do we make things seem so complicated?

Can anybody tell me why?

2011-10-31T00:17:00.003+08:00

Sorry this is a very delayed post. Was supposed to blog about outing with yixin but then I kinda forgot what happened already.

ALPS is killer.

I mean, just the waking up early for school part.

I wouldn't really mind going to school if school starts later!

I'm currently very sleep deprived -.-"

Actually I think it's damn shuang cos like we're the only level that has lessons

It's as if we're the only students.

Then it's like make me feel like I'm so hardworking HAHAA.

You know like,

holiday still go school LOL.

Anyway on the bus to tampines interchange today,

I was seated la. and overheard a conversation between two ITE students.

Not making a general judgement of students there.

But I mean one of them said that she smokes and drinks

BUT she doesn't speak vulgarities.

Rephrase:

She doesn't like people who speaks vulgarities excessively.

Ok I confess it's my fault I shouldn't have overheard their conversation.

But I just have some thoughts on my mind that I would like to share.

Cos she was gossiping about this girl that smokes a lot that drinks a lot and spews vulgarities like she's a water fountain. Apparently she doesn't like this girl and kept mentioning that vulgarities make people seem very uncivilised and uncultured.

But err... then why doesn't smoking and drinking??? O.o

Then she said this girl told her that her speaking vulgarities is already a habit and she is unable to change it, cos she's used to it.

Then the girl told her friend in the convo, something like

'habits can change one is whether you wan or not'.

But err... Then why you don't change your habit of smoking and drinking too??

Ok first you say that vulgarities are worse than smoking and drinking.

cos you said it was 'understandable' (i do not get why)

And you commented that this girl should stop saying vulgarities.

But then why don't she quit smoking and drinking too?

Aren't they bad habits too?

If you say that habits can change, then you should change yours first instead of saying others.

Yea others may have a bad mouth but I think you are equally bad if you say something like that about someone. I don't think that anyone is worse than anyone in some way cos we are all human. Human nature is cruel and usually unfeeling. We say others but we talk about ourselves too, indirectly.

On the contrary, i think vulgarities are slightly better than smoking and drinking.

I know people can argue with this but it's just a personal opinion.

Even F words are used in books.

Vulgarities are sometimes used to express emotions freely!

I think it's quite ok sia, it's part of language.

But smoking and drinking on the other hand is like A REALLY BAD HABIT.

It's like super addictive and harms your body even more than you think!

Nicotine just makes you wanna smoke more and more and more.

Alcohol makes you go really high.

I think they both have the same effects, no?

Smoking and drinking, to me, is just another form of suicide, A VERY SLOW ONE.

Ultimately you get a lot of weird diseases and die. Then you pay pay pay for treatment until bankrupt lol. Vulgarities is can control one. Smoking and drinking... not so. Once you are addicted, it is really hard to turn back.

Anyway, point is.

Should we really compare vulgarities with smoking and drinking?

I know this is where I might be contradicting myself LOL

Cos aren't they just, all bad habits?

Do people actually measure the 'badness' of each habit and compare them?

It's like crimes.

Theft or murder, they are all crimes.

It can be equivalent to lying,

You let down your conscience.

Murder and lies, either way they kill, one physically, the other kills one inside.

Isn't it all the same?

Or are there actually some 'bad things' that we can do?

And some we really should not?

I mean bad things are just bad things what..

Hahaha but everyone still compares everything

I shall end by letting you all think LOL.

We might not know the damage we can cause just by lying.

It might be as bad as murdering someone.

Or maybe someone just wants to get murdered.

But another person doesn't want to get lied to.

The damage done to the victim in the latter will obviously be worse than the first one.

Who likes to be lied to anyway?

A Purpose

2011-10-19T23:12:00.003+08:00

I envy people with really flawless skin

and they don't even wash their face everyday.

Was out with Liying today to shop!

We HAD a shopping list.

I was supposed to shop for a bag and she was supposed to shop for her farewell.

But we sidetracked from the list...

And bought things we weren't supposed to get.

LOL but money was spent on good things.

No regrets, I hope.

Why didn't anyone invent this kinda pillow?

I DEMAND SOMETHING LIKE THIS, NOW.

It's so very comfortable to put one hand under your pillow and lie on the pillow.

Just that after an hour your hand gets fucking numb

Anyway a few days earlier I was reading this article on how to smile in a picture

Thought it was rather interesting and shall share it.

Check which you are!

Here are some DO NOTS.

1. Do not smile with gums showing

2. Do not smile with your lower row of teeth showing

3. Do not smile too forcefully

LOL I know there are some people that smile like that. But of course your eyes are open, unlike in the picture. So hard to find a suitable picture one.

4. Do not smile with lips to one side.

Ok i think this one dunnid picture.

You go stalk some girls on facebook confirm can see some examples

And because I CANNOT FIND A SUITABLE PICTURE.

5. DO NOT SMILE WITH YELLOW TEETH LOL. (this is damn funny)

In other words, to have a nice smile, just brush and floss, and DON'T SMOKE. :)

6. Do not use your hands to cover your smile.

Ok I don't see anyone doing this.

Some DOs:

1. Relax and smile

Natural is best!

2. Show 8 teeth of the upper row

(refer to above picture)

I can see 7 but I bet there's another on the other side LOL

3. Smile with squeaky clean teeth!!!!

WOW SO SHINY

4. Idk what's this called. Anw your lips have to be equal in some way.

Something like that.

Just equally spread out???

I have no clue how to describe.

5. Smile with no gums showing!!!!

Just look at all the pictures above. None of them shows their gums.

So spot your mistakes in smiling, and correct them.

Go practice in front of a mirror and make sure you smile your nicest!

Just stay real and natural, I think that's most crucial for a nice smile :)

Smiling has never been harder HAHAHAAH.

My Life

2011-10-17T23:13:00.003+08:00

Let's talk about

My life.

Yes my life.

Maybe boring for most of you

Or tear-jerking

May make you feel guilty

Angry

Lucky

or maybe it's just nothing at all.

My aim of this post is not to make people sympathise

I'm just gonna type it out

And share it with people who are at least interested in knowing about my life

Or why I always have 'emo' tweets

I do hope to inspire though

Here goes...

Past

A really happy family.

Dad earns a lot

Mum earns a few K too

Life was smooth sailing

Maids to do everything, literally

What a lazy bum I was.

Had good grades

Was in the best class in 6 years of pri sch

1B 2B 3B 4B 5B 6B

We would always go for holidays

Oh how I wish things would always remain the same

But things don't.

Now when I think back, I detest myself from the past.

I was so ignorant, and really stupid.

Taking things for granted.

That's when you least expect a disaster to strike

Ok so dad has a mistress and mum found out about his dirty messages.

She cried. Maid was worried. I was scared. My brother started to swear, for the first time, at my parents.

I still remember one morning...

I was in primary 2.

Me and my brother were sleeping in the masterbed room with my mum

Lol my dad got chased out and had to sleep in the living room

he tried to appease my mum in the morning

apologised many times.

mum threatened to kill herself.

Dad prevented.

Bro and I cried.

Children, innocent, and pretty much helpless.

Imagine the large fraction of cruel reality you have to face, when you were only 8.

they made up. But things didn't last for long. Mum always knew he had a mistress even after that time. My mum almost caught an STI. Luckily, she discovered it earlier and she is fine. Mum moved into my room to sleep with me. Every day. Till now.

Dad declared bankrupt. Mum was fed up.

She told me it was the 2nd time.

Dad was always short on money.

Things continued to complicate.

And they finally filed for divorce

At that time, I couldn't get over it.

Until now, I still can't.

Present

Since dad is still bankrupt, he is always broke. Okay, so he still has a mistress. Bought her an iPhone. He never saves up. Always spending too much. Then he became a thief. Stole all of my mum's jewelry, obviously when we are all not around. Probably pawned them, got the money and spent more on the mistress.

Every night he would be whispering onto the phone with that mistress. Mum was distraught. Not because of him. no. She's worried about our future. If we will even have the money to afford a house now that all the jewelry is gone. How to pay for the education? My brother's 6 years of Uni? Boy, she's always worrying, just doesn't show it.

Oh how much I wish my dad was a much better person.

How much I wish that I had a righteous father.

How much I wish, for things to be right.

Ok so now we have to send our dog away. We can't really afford to keep him anymore. Since no one will be providing for us. We will be on our own - me mummy and bro. That really pains me. But what to do? I can't do anything at all. They are still fighting for the house. I hope we get the house. So that my mum can sell it and financial wise we would be more stable. But we can't predict what's the outcome just yet.

Everyday I go to school, just wanting to laugh as much as I can.

It's something that I can rarely do at home.

my home is just like a hollow shell.

really, it feels empty.

I know I'm not alone.

But I do feel alone, at the toughest times.

I know I always quarrel with my mum.

and to make things more awkward, we share the same room.

It's weird. To quarrel, and then sleep beside each other.

I don't really mind the lesser amount of privacy (ok maybe a little)

But because of this sharing of space, we've quarreled a lot more often.

And I know she thinks I'm a bad daughter.

I think i am one too.

But I'm trying to be nice now.

Cos I don't want to burden her and make her life anymore worse.

I'm trying. and it's hard

Future

I can't tell you what my future will be like.

I only know that my parents are separating in a month.

A month from now...

you can say my mum will be a slight bit happier.

I'm not sure about myself. My bro will be doing fine. He's not an emotional person.
I think, I will just hate my life a little more.

Cos my life really sucks a lot. -.-

Dk where my dad will be.

Just hopes he learns from his mistakes. Lead a healthier life.

Spiritually, and physically

I'm really worried what will happen to us if we really are out of money.

Cos now, everything needs money.

Where the hell am I gonna get money?

I hope my mum won't be bankrupt too.

Life will be hard, for sure.

Harder than it already is.

Everyday will be a struggle.

Just like how it is right now.

Just, more tiring.

And to see all of my friends,

Having quite normal lives.

I really wish to lead a normal life too.

But it does seem to be too much to ask for, right?

Maybe my life is meant to be like this.

And hopefully it means that the later part of my life will be better.

I think I'm living, just so to live the highest peaks of my life.

Which is definitely not anytime soon.

It's impossible, for my life to be all time low. Please I hope not.

And through all this, I've grown a lot.

Seen a lot. Experienced a lot.

Matured a lot as a person.

It isn't entirely bad to mature earlier.

But sometimes when things are fucked up

You feel yourself losing a part of your innocence.

I think I'm strong (lol bhb moment)

Cos I know pain, a little more than others.

When I see others cry just over their results,

It really angers me. A LOT.

Cos there's much more things to good results.

There's such a thing called attitude.

And with this sorta attitude, crying over a bad (or good - to me) result,

Where can you go? How far can you go?

And I'm always thinking,

'Girl, you haven't seen the worst of this world. and you're crying like it's the end of the world.'

True, that I've not seen the worst yet.

But at least I won't cry over minor little things anymore.

Learning Points:

1. Perseverance

I'm always gonna go against the tide.

I won't back out so easily.

I'm not gonna give up.

I will and must go forward

Cos you've known the road behind you.

There's no rainbows there.

Forward, is the only way, to see new things, and experience happy moments.

If we keep living in the past,

We would just torture ourselves.

If we don't let go of our memories, new ones can't come in.

Why be so hard on ourselves?

Change your attitude, so that you can change the scenery of your path

2. Feel fortunate - treasure life

There's always someone out there who is a lot worse than you.

ALWAYS.

I know that there are millions of people that are less fortunate than myself.

So, I'm not gonna throw my life away.

Cos my life is a gift.

No matter how dark it gets,

There's always a glimmer of hope.

If you don't give up, hope will not give up on you.

Always feel fortunate. And help others, if you can.

Or at least, have a heart for the less fortunate.

Your life is not the worst. So if someone out there, who has a pretty lousy and bad life, can survive his/hers, why can't you?

After the ups, it's the downs. And vice versa.

It's not the end yet. Don't throw away your life.

3. Always look on the bright side.

In everything that we do, good or bad, there's a bright side to things.

In anything that happens to us, it will probably teach us a thing or two about life.

Get them in your head!

It will help you a lot.

And when you encounter a similar situation, you will be grateful for the bad experiences that happened to you.

Do not just look things from one side.

Look on both, but more on the bright side. So you will feel better too.

Okay, so this is a rough idea of my life. I think it's a pretty lengthy post. To those that read till the end, kudos to you. Hope you learnt something, or felt something.

Do you feel that you're lucky?

Should you treasure your life a little more?

Do you think, you should cherish what you have now, before it's all gone?

just like how my family vanished..

P.S I'm sorry if there's a lot of problem with my english or some typos. Cos when I was typing I was in a rush. :p

Punishment - another (intended) form of motivation?

2011-09-09T21:01:00.002+08:00

Have any of you felt it was unfair,

That you did your best in a test,

Yet you got shitty marks (or so they say)

And your parents force you to do more work,

As punishment?

Have you ever felt it was unfair,

If you were doing your best,

But just couldn't perform well,

And people tell you,

" If you're not gonna do well, I'm gonna confiscate your ____ (insert word of choice)"?

Question:

Is Threat and Punishment, supposedly another form of motivation?

Or, really just a form of entertainment for others?

To see others in despair and frustrated?

I don't know how others will feel.

But here's what I think.

Punish me, for instance.

Ok this happens like every training.

"Who sprint the slowest will pump 10."

Lol I always kenna can?

I don't get what's the punishment for hahaha.

(I KNOW AT THIS POINT PPL WILL THINK IM SORELOSER BUT HEAR ME OUT FIRST CAN?)

It's not like I'm not doing my best right?

It's not that I'm slacking right?

It's just that you all happen to run faster than me.

For reasons in which I do not know

Maybe you have longer legs = longer strides?

= less effort to travel distance? LOL

But seriously,

I always feel like I'm being punished cos I'm the slowest (apparent)

I think it's unfair la.

It's just another way of saying, my 'best effort' cannot be compared to others' 'best effort'.

Cos ultimately I'm the slowest.

?!?!?!?!?!?!

I think it's discouraging.

I will feel like...

I'm already doing my best.

But if my best is not enough,

I might as well not try at all.

COS IT HAPPENS FOR LIKE ALMOST A YEAR ALR.

i'm sick of it man.

Punished for doing nothing wrong.

Threatened for doing nothing wrong.

Ok i know a lot of people will just,

SELF-MOTIVATE (i still have no idea how this works)

and then push themselves harder lol.

DOESN'T WORK FOR ME.

Maybe cos I'm sensitive,

I'm emotional.

I get affected, quite heavily.

BUT WHAT CAN I DO?

(I just realised I always question things that can't be helped)

I know there's this quote that says something like

If you don't like it, change it.

If it can't be changed, change yourself

Something liddat la.

Hohoho, i dun think there's anything wrong with me

(people confirm think I'm full of myself.)

I think people have minds too straight.

It's always one sided.

Teachers' Day and USS!

2011-09-06T01:33:00.003+08:00

On the last day of school, we celebrated teachers' day! ♥

I guess our teachers aren't really bad after all.

I do feel guilty for not always being a good student.

But hey, we're in the rebellious stage and I guess sometimes we just can't help it.

We're like kites.

The more you restrain and pull back on us,

The further we wanna fly.

Who likes being 'tied down'?

Maybe just at this age, we wouldn't favour it.

I think Mr Hamdan is really cool.

Cos I remember last year he told us

"You don't need love, you only want love."

That quote got stuck in my head till now!

I think he's really eccentric and it's cool.

Weird people are cool.

People that don't fit in and have their own ways of thinking.

I am like that so I think I'm cool HAHAHAHAA.

I'm not bhb ok but I know I'm weird.

Too different?

Idk. but sometimes it isn't always so good you know?

Cos you will always feel left out that you're different, and no one understands what you're trying to say... Get that feeling? You just feel...

As if you're speaking your own language.

Like a stranger to everyone else.

Lonely.

And being different doesn't mean you stand out.

Sometimes it means you are outcasted.

Don't you think that's why everyone's been trying to fit in?

Cos when people see you as being different...

They label you.

Weirdo. Monster. Freak.

Cos it seems wrong.. to be different.

Because everyone can't accept how different someone can be.

Just by being different, it seems as if you made an offence...

So much for people born trying to stand out huh?

But I guess I'm quite used to the loneliness already.

Rather.

OK FINE IT STILL HURTS TO BE LONELY.

But who cares? Right?

Ok went back to ESPS with Yixin!

Hahaha So excited for Mr Choo cos he's getting married soon.

Time passes really quickly man.

Soon we're gonna be on that road too...

Does anyone realise how quickly time passes?

Memories and childhood blown away by time.

I just hope all of us won't forget the friends we had

The fun, and the life we had.

I guess all these things are too precious to forget.

USS WAS FUNNNNNNNNNNN

I conquered both Battlestar Galatica

In my opinion, the red one is the worse one.

The blue one was still, not that bad.

I closed my eyes throughout for both.

I'm humji :p

The red one made me felt like I was gonna fly off my seat anytime soon.

That thingy you need to put on for safety, it's like only one rod!

The blue one had ONE WHOLE VEST.

Ok I know the other one is turn entirely that's why..

But at least put something that makes us feel more secure can?

Pictures pictures...

This Fairytale Castle photo by yours truly !

Anyone can make out what this is?

Ok... here.

MY FAMILY PORTRAIT

I guess.. having 3 in a family isn't that bad...

I'm starting to get used to it...

Absence of a father at home...

Not talking to him for an entire day..

It still hurts.

Live with it, that's the best I can do.

Ok i'm too awkward in this photo la. lame -.-

So left out la.

BTW, bro gf is beside him. 2nd from left

Ok that's all for this post!

I've been thinking a lot lately.

OK I'VE BEEN THINKING FOR LIKE THE REST OF MY LIFE ZZZZ

Idk la but this year im sadder.

Each year im sadder.

Idk what to do.

Although some choices seem so apparent.

I need someone to talk to.

Someone, at least on the same emotional level with me.

FFXIII - Great visual experience

2011-08-28T20:15:00.002+08:00

Okayyy this will be a game post (please dun forget I'm a game girl)

It's on... FFXIII!!!!!!

The graphics are so cutting-edge and it feels almost as if you are in the game.

It's so surreal.

Anyway, I've only played like maybe a quarter of the game.

The things I like about this game...

1. Graphics

Like duh right? Cos it's so fucking cool. Just look at it. Idk how Square Enix always make graphics like this. Keep it up, or make it better!

2. Girls are better at combat LOL

Finally something that is not sexist??? Cos Lightning (refer to 2nd picture) is really good when she's fighting, better than Sazh and Snow (in my opinion). Okay, maybe I have not unlocked some things about Snow and Sazh so they may not be good now. But I finally see a change in their fighting styles. Male characters used to be the ones that started off with combat skills and girls were the female characters were the ones using white and black magic. Now, everyone can practically use anything so that's what I'm happy about.

Now.. for the things I don't like...

1. Storyline

I can already foresee it will not be as heartbreaking as FFX. I wish Square Enix would make another FF with a storyline as devastating as FFX! Everytime I think about it or hear Suteki Da Ne (FFX theme song) I can cry. cos Yuna and Tidus .. sigh. Anyway, I don't like it that they have to all split up and work towards different goals :( But i know in the end they'll come together.. so let's wait and see.

2. BATTLE SYSTEM

Oh god. Since the last FF I played was X, I was really quite shocked about the new battle system. It's really confusing and there's so many things to learn... Well, guess maybe it's time I catch up since FFX was like 10 years ago (omg sniff sniff. my childhood!) But I'd rather have the monsters suddenly jump up at you and not the characters jumping up at them. Cos there seems to be limited enemies to fight! :( Harder to train sia.

Ok I guess that's about it... anyway I hope I can finish this game.. anw there isn't much sidequests or like ultimate weaps that I have to get so I guess I can finish it. But I wish they had ultimate weapons, more challenging! (then like FFX cannot finish one LOL) Yeah but anyway, Square Enix please continue making more FFs. I am forever your fan. ♥

If there's anyone reading this, please hear this song :) (HAHA but I bet no one read till here since there are so little gamers)

2011-08-22T15:37:00.002+08:00

Seriously man, you never know what things you hear in a conversation will help you next time.

Today I had SS debate with class 3H and they were talking about the curry incident.

Then on Saturday, I heard on the MRT, a couple talking about the curry incident. And saying it happened like 6 or 7 years ago and the Chinese family was from China.

And it helped today! I could successfully rebut the prepositions' point!

You know maybe when you hear someone talking about like Bill Gates on the MRT, then nxt time got job interview they ask you like why is Bill Gates not the richest person in the world kinda thing, you know the answer!

Sometimes, YOU SHOULD EAVESDROP. You never know what interesting things you might hear!

But of course dun give yourself away la, must act like you nvr listen at all. :)

Okay I think I'm pretty awesome cos I got the best speaker award. Cheers to me LOL.

2011-08-18T16:48:00.001+08:00

虽然人还没见，但已经开始想念。

在世界上的某个角落，我知道。。。

An extract of my own poem I wrote 2 months back. Haha, I'm so good at Lit. ♥

2011-08-18T16:34:00.002+08:00

Ever since a year back, I've learnt not to be so honest, to control myself a bit, to not speak my mind.

But now... After so long, I'm wondering if I should be doing it.

I want to tell people about my feelings.

But I always end up losing someone or something important.

And I hate losing them.

It's like a part of me died.

And you can never get back what you lost.

You can rebuild it again, or get something to replace it, but you know it's not gonna be the same

I'm always in a dilemma. Self-contradicting myself.

I want to, but I don't dare.

Hahaha.. I don't know how I'll be like years from now.

It's like you feel like crying, but you know you should be strong and that there are others worse than you.

But you're already feeling at your worse.

So to cry or not to cry?

okay maybe that was a bad analogy.

But you know what? This is when you are caught between your feelings and thoughts.

Between what you want to do, and what you should do.

I'm trying to make the best decisions for myself cos my life is really screwed already lol

However, what you think is the best, may not be in the long run.

Confusing, frustrating!

How do I know what is better for me...?

Life is such a struggle.

I guess... my life will never be right.

Am I just too sensitive? To people, to comments, to the slightest things?

Sometimes I hope it's not me, that it's because people are too careless with what they do or what they say, that they hurt those around them.

But who asked me to care in the first place?

Maybe I am too sensitive.

Demanding too.

Or are others too selfish?

These are some things I'll never get...

I can be loyal, or you can think I'm too clingy.

Hahaha, one thing bad about always looking at both sides, is that you'll never be able to decide on one.

How? I feel like I have a choice to make, but... which is better?

8/8/11

2011-08-08T22:24:00.006+08:00

Ola!

We celebrated National Day in school today.

Well, this year, we started off with tree planting!

I thought it was better la, but tree planting is still boring. -.-"

I mean like, I can't see anything.

Besides, Sin Oi Leng's child was more entertaining ♥

Sat with YiXin during the celebration, cos we were both lonely people :((

SG Flag Tattoos :) Patriotism!

Yixin, you seriously look damn cool here. ♥

Really my boyfriend siol :)

Hil and I ♥

Bag my mum bought for me for getting 2nd in class!

I know many of you will think why I so unfilial still say I dun like my mum.

But you know what, don't judge. You don't know the story.

I'm not unfilial. I'm just rebellious. Two separate things.

Was with Ying Xin and LiYing after that. Wanted to watch Rise of the Planet Apes but lingling dunwan :(

Ok so in the end we just went shopping at Bugis + Orchard Ion.

And we took neoprints :)

Today was really cool.

but my feet are so sore!!! anw I'm so glad the next 2 days are holidays

So many things on my mind! I need to think through many things (again)

On a side note, I think I might be suffering from depression from time to time.

Lol, thoughts of suicide, since primary... 4? I almost died.

And I'm still living, right now, blogging.

Somehow I feel things happen for a reason.

I was so close to death.

SOCLOSE.

And I'm glad, I'm still alive.

I'm glad that I lived till this day.

Even though I'm still having these thoughts, about suicide,

I won't let them get into me anymore.

Cos I know, living for a little while more, just makes a lot of difference.

You meet people, you talk to people, you help people, you change people.

If not, people can change you.

So if there are any teenagers out there, feeling depressed,

Hey, dun give up. It's not the end of the world.

Live a little while more, and maybe you'll find what's worth living for.

For me, I'm really, just living for myself. Temporarily.

I want to see new things, I want to see snow, I want to see nature, I want to see mountains.

I want to see the world.

I want to meet more people, that are going to walk the road of life with me.

Hope is not lost.

The strangest things about people,

We always get lost, finding ourselves at a crossroad, don't know what to do.

And we feel like giving up.

But we don't, really.

We still try, we still hang on. Even if you are still stuck in that same spot,

At least you didn't give up. You're still trying.

If you don't try, how do you know what's waiting for you on the other side?

We always find our way, on our own, and maybe with a little help.

But much of it, still depends on us.

Would it make a difference, to just die?

Trust me, living will bring you more joy than tears.

But, we must learn how to live.

If not if our body is living, and our soul isn't,

That isn't really living. LOL

Even though I still feel sad and depressed like half of the time,

but that's part and parcel of life.

What happiness can be found if there is no sorrow?

If everything was happiness, do we know sorrow?

For example, everyday you are laughing your ass off with your friends.

You're with the perfect guy.

NOTHING GOES WRONG.

But, given that situation, how do you know you are happy?

Everything is the same, everyday.

It's all thanks to sorrow, that we know happiness.

Vice versa.

We need a balance in life.

Yes, who doesn't want to be happy?

But if we were,

We aren't human.

I'm a little country

2011-08-06T16:32:00.004+08:00

I'm a little country.

Come over and look at the beautiful river.

Tranquil as it is, but water runs deep.

Don't just look at the surface, dive under it.

In the water, fishes swimming to and fro.

Aquatic plants struggling to survive overcrowding.

Oops did I forget to mention?

Beware of predators, they may bite you.

Come over and stay at the inn.

Enjoy beautiful nature.

Trees that have grown to just a few meters.

But they don't just stop there. They still grow.

At last, dark clouds

After a week without rain, we need it!

Too much of sunlight is not good.

Too bright, too hot, not stable.

You hear the thunder and lightning.

But wait, where is the rain?

Wait for a little while more

I'm sure the downpour will last a few days.

Cats and dogs, big ones.

How did the clouds hold in all of them?

They must be really strong,

Now all is balanced.

After the rain, comes the sunshine,

Plants all growing happily with the new supply of freshwater

Fishes rejoice for they know the river won't dry.

There is about to be a volcanic eruption!

It's only warning, from the smoke engulfing the clouds

Fierce and violent, terribly impolite,

always erupting and spoil the fun.

I'm a little country.

Come live in me.

See my beauties and experience my wrath

Stay long enough, to see the trees grow.

Most importantly,

There's always tears, and of course, glow.

- Just a poem, maybe not well written, but it's just about me, and written by me (LOL). HAVE FUN ANALYSING IT (if you bother). vanessa ☺

2011-07-31T01:00:00.003+08:00

if you could read my mind, my thoughts... would you be crying too?

Idk if the fault is in me...

am I not pretty enough?

Am I not tall enough?

Am I not thin enough?

Am I too complicated? Too emotional? Too stubborn? Too dreamy? Too unrealistic?

Am I too wrong?

idk how I feel. But I know even when I'm happy, this feeling has never left.

it's been with me for years.. but I don't want to tell anyone.

Cos I know no one will understand.

And they will say the same words over and over, cos they don't know what to do, cos they aren't like me.

I know I'm always alone in this.

But I do hope someday, things change, and my patience pays off.

I'm living my life for only one thing. I'm working towards it. But time to time my resilience is questioned. What if I wait for nothing at all? What if along the way.. something happens to me and stops my journey?

Haha no one knows what I'm facing. But with the countless hurt, scars and words like knives, I'm still surviving. I'm not giving up. I don't want to. I won't.

But I realised, no one is ever encouraging me too anw. No one did.

I'm alone.

Walk for the Deaf

2011-07-30T23:23:00.004+08:00

HELLO EVARYBADY.

Today Me, Jean, Carol and Yixin went for a CIP walk of 3km from somewhere in Mountbatten to ECP. Okay la it was quite long and somewhat tiring for the legs, but it was rather worthwhile. It made me feel accomplished. And guess what??? WE ACTUALLY GOT A FREE MINI-GOLF TICKET AT THE END! Cos we were top 150 :)

Took a polaroid before hand with Shernise!

I THINK I LOOK NICE HERE HAHAHAHAHA

Ok cos the ends of my hair curl until quite nice and can't see my pimples HAHAHAHAHA

ok I shall not bhb anymore.

Then took another with my teammates :)

After that, we went for free mini-golf :p

i think we were the oldest players there, cos it's like a kids playground

We played for around 2 hours since there were 18 courses!

It was pretty cool!

It took time to get a hang of it.

Jean was the pro one cos she always play golf!

YiXin was the worst HAHAHHAA.

Cos she keep hitting it elsewhere, and it flew away twice.

1st - Jean

2nd - Carol

3rd- Van

4th-YiXin

After minigolf, we had to find a way out of ECP. We went down an underpass.

Please note that at that time it was around... : 730pm

IT WAS AWFULLY SCARY AND DARK.

Furthermore, it's the night before hungry ghost festival.

It's really scary.

So we ran down the underpass. When we came up,

there was a sec1 AHS guy that also got lost and he followed us to Parkway Parade.

His nickname shall be PP guy:)

Ok then Yixin left and Carol and Jean and I were eating dinner

Carol laughed at Jean for stoning for the length of a song.

And then she couldn't stop laughing.

And she said Jean was so funny

-I turned to jean-

-Jean turned to me-

-raises eyebrows together-

-explosive laughter that made heads turn-

Why we so funny :p

I swear I love my teammates more and more each time.

Can't wait for chalet.

It will be the bomb.

Blind sees beauty

2011-07-28T18:42:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY YINGXIN~~~~

Here's some overdue pictures :)

I WAS SO PRIMARY SCHOOL ON THAT DAY.

Just look at what I'm wearing LOL. So embarrassing to post it here

aiya walao but nvm.

It's like blue headband + green sling + purple shirt + sports shoes HAHAHHAA

So primary school

I seriously don't know what was I thinking.

but aiya anw I on that day really quite kiddish.

AND I CYCLED 2 HOURS ^.^

anw, it's good to be reliving childhood :)

OK I very lazy post pictures liao cos blogger like quite slow today -.-"

Guess what, it's gonna be the end of term3 week5 already. SO FAST.

Really sia, whether or not you are enjoying yourself, time flies.

I've not been enjoying myself lah

Been rather tired cos there's so many things to do now.

I know it's part of life, but the changes from sec2 to 3 is dramatic.

You won't know what you have until you lose them. Sigh.

Oh and yesterday during bioL, WE DISSECTED A PIG'S HEART. YAY YAY YAY YAY HAHAHA

It's actually quite cool la. Even though I was really petrified throughout the lesson.

I just can't stand the sight of blood.

AND WE DID NOT HAVE TO BUY OUR OWN PIG HEARTS ^^

You know how people try to impress other people?

Act like they know something

I think it's an annoying habit of some people.

I feel like shutting people like them up.

Cos they are talking shit.. -.-"

No offense, but really. If you don't know something, don't act like you know it.

I HAVE A HUGE INTEREST IN AMV MAKING.

But I don't know where to learn it. :(

I think it's cool! Graphics and clips from other videos put together to create something magical...

It can be like putting your imagination into work, and making them real and show them to the world. It's beautiful, at least to me.

Okay, now for something totally off-link

:) HAHAHAHA ok I feel so bhb or something idk.

But I will rarely do this. I bet the next time I do, it will be 6 months later...

K ciao!

Everyone gotta stay strong!

2011-07-20T17:17:00.002+08:00

DON'T READ THIS POST COS IT'S LIKE A LONG TWEET TO MYSELF BUT I DUN WANNA SPAM PEOPLE'S TIMELINES SO IM TYPING IT HERE

I need to watch Romeo X Juliet again.

It's such a good anime. sigh.

Hahaha, good things always have sad endings.

But that shouldn't be the reason to stop.

I'm feeling sad now. Most of the time.

But I won't lose sight on what I've decided on.

Now I just need the patience.

Besides, all my life, I've been preparing myself for the real thing.

Wasn't I?

Celebrity Crushes and some shit.

2011-07-15T22:31:00.005+08:00

Been quite awhile since I last blogged,

So I'm back to update ^^

Tumblr (or Tumboner since its tumb1r) has a lot of these people's pictures

I used to fancy them only a little but lol.

All the information appearing one after another on my dashboard,

fancy turns into love/celebrity crush

1. Sara Bareilles :)

I think she is fucking cool.

She has a nose piercing and nice wavy hair.

She also has great songs!

I like her new album Kaleidoscope Heart. ♥

She is really talented!

Great piano playing and great voice. She sounds exactly the same

LIVE.

Lol at least she sings better than Selena Gomez. #fact

She deserves more attention than Selena.

2. Zac Efron

LOOK AT THAT SMILE.

Charisma. Charisma. Charisma. ♥

HE'S SO HOT HAHAHAHA.

He has a nice body too. But mainly, I LOVE HIS SMILE.

Now I sound like a crazy fan girl

I'm not crazy yet but near to drooling over Zac Efron :3

3. Vanessa Hudgens

She got so much prettier ever since High School Musical.

No more the high school Gabriella.

Now the young adult one.

Time flies so fast!

I miss those times when Disney actually made good movies.

Anyway, Vanessa Hudgens has pretty eyes and nice hair too.

And she still sings better than Selena Gomez #fact.

4. Miley Cyrus

HOHOHOHO.

I LOVE MILEY/HANNAH MONTANA.

I got to say I have the biggest crush on Miley among all of them here.

I've been supporting her since a few years back.

Just because of those photos, a lot of people turned to hate her.

But I don't see why people should hate her

when there are many other girls that do the same thing she does.

But they don't get flamed, because they are not famous.

And people accuse her of not being a role model.

Well, I think she is.

She tells us that everyone makes mistakes, so we learn and grow from it.

No one is perfect.

-Nobody's Perfect starts playing in head-

What's more, I don't get why people call Selena Gomez a saint and Miley Cyrus a slut.

SERIOUSLY? I think it's a bit unfair to judge.

I'm forever on team Miley.

SMILEYMILEY ♥♥♥♥♥♥

Okay, Miley has GORGEOUS eyes and SEXY FLOWY HAIR

and I like her shoulder area.

It seems broad and sexy LOL.

Unlike girls that look like they don't have shoulders,

And they look like they are slouching. Weird lor. (in my opinion)

Okay, so this concludes my celebrity crushes :)

But hey, I have something to add on ^^

DO YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT?

As a child, I did believe love at first sight was possible.

But when I slowly grew up, the possibility dives down to 0.

What can you possibly love a person for the first second you meet him/her?

Only one thing.

Looks.

Love at first sight is like just a nice way of saying,

"You're so fucking sexy I wanna make love with you."

I know many people are trying to say that it is possible.

Cos they have friends/relatives that actually met their partner for like first minute and they started dating blahblah.

But hey, what did they see in each other for that micro second?

Kindness? Compassion? Sexiness?

You would only see that in a stranger, if you're judgemental.

I believe in something:

Not everything is as it seems.

If a person does good deeds, does that really mean he/she is a good person?

Are you sure, this person must be a saint?

Ok but anyway, I'm just saying that Love at First Sight

seems to be ridiculous to me, now.

It's not that I do not want to believe in it.

I mean, hey, it's something beautiful (if it happens)

But do you really fall in love with a person when you just meet him/her?

Is that really love?

Doesn't love need time and patience to grow?

It's like before you eat a food you never tasted before.

You look at it on the outside and you say it's gonna taste delicious.

What makes you think that?

Garnishing of course.

-Fragrance of dish is not applicable as it isn't on humans-

But sometimes you are cheated.

When you taste the food, you realise that it tastes just average or not too good at all.

Is Love at First Sight really possible?

I'm just stating my stand on this issue.

Not meant to brainwash people or something

It's good to believe in something.

But if that belief fails, devastation strikes.

And sometimes, believing just makes us wait forever.

At the same time, it gives us an attitude so positive and radiant,

That it burns up all the good things we're supposed to see too.

Fallen Angel

2011-07-06T18:21:00.002+08:00

This is gonna be a very emo pathetic post.

My life is pretty rough today..

Or maybe I'm just more emotional today.

Either way, I'm hurting a lot inside now.

Haha, you know, people look to me as their 'counsellor'

Or like I'm the wise person lol

Everyone thinks I'm strong.

Hahaha, I think I am too. (cos my life is really suckish and I don't know how i survived)

(and when I mean suckish, not like boyfriend girlfriend breakup suckish. way worse.)

But a lot of people tend to forget that.. the strong ones are humans too.

And we fall.

It is agony for me.

When people come to me, I help them.

Yeah I feel good. At least I'm of help.

But when I'm in despair, depression,

No one is actually able to help.

I know there are people who care...

But, they just don't know how to cheer me up. Or what advice to give.

You know, you will just feel like..

No one is there for you.

No one can help you.

So it's always at these times,

I always wonder why I must be the wiser person.

I feel weak at times too. I need someone to go to for advice.

It is really agonising.

Then when I feel like crying, I'm outside.

What will you think if someone cried in public?

"She's such a pussy."

"She's so weak."

"Attract attention only."

"Aiya, cry again."

"eh someone is crying!" *continue staring at the person crying*

"Such a loser."

Hahaha.

No one have ever given a thought, how the person who is crying, really feels inside.

Why are we like this?

Ok so I don't cry in public.

I hold it inside.

But after hours, my chest is starting to tighten and ache a little.

Yet, I still hold it in. Until at least I'm home alone.

Then I cry.

Sounds damn pathetic right?

What's your definition of a true friend?

Mine is one who actually makes sacrifices for you, without complaining.

Lol today, I was feeling like shit la.

But... lol the mood was so cheery and all.

Everyone wan chiong take pictures with the athletes.

Yeah... I would have taken with them too since its once in a lifetime..

But I can't afford to smile.

It's too difficult at a time like that.

I would feel a lot better, if someone actually gave up the chance to take pictures with them, just to stand with me in silence.

Honestly, I would appreciate that a lot.

Aiya but I know you all confirm think I very selfish right?

That's why I say, I have no true friends at all.

Cos if its my friend, who is in my state, I will just stay there with him/her without saying anything.

Cos at this point in time,

They just need someone.

Not something.

Not advice.

Just someone to be there for them.

Lol people say I'm expecting too much.

Hahaha but really meh?

Is it so difficult to do?

Unless you put your interests before your friends.

That's when you know you are not a good friend to that person

I have no concluding point.

I just want to... smile.

Foreign Affair

2011-07-03T20:33:00.006+08:00

How's life?

Okay so the holidays ended..

And I don't feel any good going to school.

Other than receiving our papers back

And knowing that I didn't do too badly.

Im kinda worried for my 'O' Levels Chinese Oral though :(

I barely passed it during MYE!

Sigh.

Been feeling exhausted.

Ever since school started, things started to get busy.

That's how I'm feeling like right now.

Okay so some updates about school...

WE GOT NEW TABLES.

It's damn green.

Super green can. Even the chairs omg.

I'm still not that used to it sia.

DAMN GREEN

match our school colour.

But at least you'll feel comfortable putting your head onto the table now

and you know there won't be any white dust on your arms or face.

One of the bad things is that the compartment under the table is not blocked

So teachers actually know if you put your food under the table,

or if you're texting under it.

CCA has been quite tough la. Endurance training and all. And our juniors are preparing for the matches. I do hope they win la. I wish them the best.

ALTHOUGH I ADMIT I'LL GET ANGRY IF THEY WIN.

Okay, but it's still better if they win.

I shall just contain my anger LOL

Today I started my CIP with Faith, Carol and Yixin (and some other sports players) at the ASG.

It's fun. AND EXCITING. The matches are good. :)

And there are hot guys HAHAHAHAHA. :)

Will take some pictures and update about it next time!

Oh and my friendship is salvaged. I'm happy about that ^^

Carebear I received.

Yixin said it's a Sharebear. O.o

Look at my table just after 1 week of school la..

Walao that time I still spend a few days in June to pack it.

Damn sian sia.

ROCK CANDY FROM ITALY.

I like the design sia. Damn cute can!

I hope Singapore has more rock candies like this. :)

Btw, here are some overdue student camp photos that I found in my camera :p

Hahaha Sorry if got some unglams I just randomly pick out from the small thumbnails so

I didn't know which was unglam.

Faith blowing up her inflatable pillow ROFL.

HAHAAHAHA Carol. We know you are that black.

But funny sia. Why your chinese surname is wei then ur eng surname is hei :p

Our nails :)

P.S Life isn't going too well these days.

Holidays?

2011-06-22T17:24:00.002+08:00

Holidays are ending too fucking quickly man.

And all the work is gonna start.

OH WAIT IT NEVER STOPPED COS OF HOLI HW.

omg I hate the chinese holi hw. 3 books? U MOTHER CB? SERIOUSLY? ZZZZZZZ

oh yeah and they should NEVER have maths for e-learning.

I mean, I DO NOT GET A FUCK ABOUT B THEOREM.

Who does man?

Bob buys cats and dogs.

How many choices can he make if he wants to buy 3 cats and 1 dog?

REALLY BITCH? REALLY?

You might as well own an animal shelter.

Who does this?

Math - not realistic at all.

I REALLY DUN GET IT. Why our holidays not like holiday?

You know if we get paid to do school work during our holidays, I wouldn't mind.

COS HELLO, ITS OUR OFF DAY (or month).

Via dictionary.com:

Holidays: a time or period of exemption from any requirement, duty,assessment

YOU READ THAT?

Why don't teachers get that? Why are they teaching us when don't understand the basic?

I can assure you the stress level of students nowadays is climbing to its peak man.

One day, there might even be a students protest.

Who knows what will happen man?

The Land of ORZ'11

2011-06-22T16:20:00.005+08:00

ORZ!

This year it wasn't really as fun as the previous year.

So I guess the rumour of the fun level decreasing every year is true!

Anyway, I'm tired of waiting for the student camp photos to be uploaded.

In case I wait too long and forgot the contents, I shall blog first.

1st day:

My group was Rolex and I belong to the Energizer's Party aka ERP.

Members are: Me, Yixin, Carol, Faith, Zer Hien, Shawn, Yuhng, Cheryl, Elise, Donovan.

First day like normal.

The icebreaker games.. erm ok. haha boring :x

honestly, I only remembered we had to make the cape.

Got night games also. CSI. Very difficult. is it each year more and more difficult to understand?

Cos I think the whole thing doesn't really link well tgt.

SKIP SKIP!

2nd day:

The games were more exciting today. Like I remember the green apple game. HAHAHAHA

Like you have to have someone piggyback you to take a bite off one of the green apples hanging above. omg Yuhng damn funny he hold onto the pole then say he cannot reach the apple HAHAHA. Cos he was holding onto the pole! Omg I tell you all like that not funny sia.

Must really see! But I don't have picture!

Then there was this game where you put your hand inside a box to pick out pingpong balls + toothpicks. But inside got worm. fucking disgusting so I didn't play.

Did I mention my fear of creepy crawlies is really severe?

So I let the brave warriors do it (aka the rest of the group)

Shall not elaborate on the games anymore.

Then there was the paper avalanche at the end. Cos we complete each station game to get paper balls. in the end, each house had to throw paper balls at one another.

I think it was quite fun. Softball skills can come into good use.

Night games was without lights. Boring and I was emoing. :x

3rd day

Today was more exciting. There was this calculator game in which we owned other teams at :)

we LOVE the calculator game LOLL

Then there was this Running Man game.

You have to drink something then run to the camera to take a jumpshot.

You compete with a team la. Then the team with more faces appearing in the jumpshot wins.

It's quite difficult sia. Some more I so short HAHAHA.

But first time I got my face in it. I was all the way at the back one.

Then I go push ppl away :p

Got ppl scratch me sia. With 3 fingers. got 3 red lines on my arm that time. That person zai.

And the Up Down game. Omg I think that was torturous for the person carrying the other person.

It's like in a circle, there's alternate papers on the floor written Up and Down.

5 people carry 5 people on their backs. When they step onto the Up paper, they stand up.

On the Down paper, they squat.

FAITH CARRY YUHNG HAHAHHA WTF. Girl power x100

Evening we were preparing for Talent Time.

Okay so there was like a conflict between me and my group members.

Partly I'm at fault ok. Cos like at that period of 5 days it happened to be my PMS period.

SO I GET DRAMATIC MOOD SWINGS. And when I'm in a bad mood, I'm pretty nasty. Like really. I scare people away LOL.

Ok our picture was Glee.

So our start of the play had to be like the one in the picture.

I think our play a bit no sense la hor. But at least better than last year.

NO ONE. NO ONE understood a single shit about last year's play.

And we even rolled on the floor and became 'James Bond' for a minute.

Even thinking about it now a bit embarrassing la.

OK ITS VERY EMBARRASSING WTF.

Ok I think the rest was quite boring...

until 7am (ahem) came up and become very show off and AA. That was the interesting part cos apart from feeling bored, I was disgusted. :)

And the dance PK was. hahahahaha speechless man dun even need one.

4th Day

Amazing Race day. Wah starting already damn difficult sia. crazy one.

Got stuck in school for almost an hour liddat.

Then go Pasir Ris somewhere in the park for some game.

The....what ah? Sling shot?

You need to shoot a ball into this hoop above to get the next clue.

Shawn aiming for the hoop.

It looks easy. but we took nearly an hour for this ok.

Many groups got stuck there for quite long too.

Then we took a bus from Pasir Ris to .. Punggol area I think.

Many ORZ people were in the bus LOL.

Look how overcrowded the bus is.

And this was only the middle and backwards part of the bus.

From left to right:

Me, Carol, Faith, Yiran Jie, Donovan.

Then it was the LRT game. HAHAHA we got chased out btw cos the LRT like super small then got so many camp people inside the LRTs doing the same thing.

This part a bit boring. Skip.

Our first group photo. :)

Took the MRT to somewhere...

HAHAHA lookie at the woman over there sleeping. :p

Oooops zilian HAHA since we had the camera :)

The Little India part was crazy. Going around looking for the camp people to get puzzle pieces -.-

We took quite long also. anw this whole race we took really really long to complete.

a bit screwed la. and we were famished. So after this station we ate!!! 8D

The guys:

The girls: (Kate Spade pose)

Went to Marina Barrage to complete our last station but then apparently the station already stopped letting people fly kites. So we just took a few pictures then went back to camp.

Going back..

Okay. Done. Campfire was torture for me.

BBQ was too.

I don't know what was wrong with me anyway.

I was thinking about loads of things.

Sometimes I even wonder how I manage to smile when life's always so difficult for me.

Stayed up late and bathed at like... 4am????

AND GOT SCOLDED WHILE WE WERE NAKED IN THE SHOWER LOL.
they said we were laughing too loudly that they could hear us from 1st floor (we were on 3rd floor).

Really meh? Why our bunk members cannot hear? (2nd closest to toilet)

Okay I a bit gl. Cos i not happy they tell us SHUT UP. walao rude or what.

Anw me carol and xin were playing Truths at night. It was funny.

HAHAHAHA. Shared so many things and our views harmonized. at some things :)

Ok I guess thats all. Not really exciting was it?

Maybe cos of my content. But really la, this year. FOR MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE (including PMSes), it's way worse than last year.

Lunar Eclipse

2011-06-16T17:58:00.002+08:00

Lunar Eclipse :)

Couldn't really get a clear picture cos there were clouds hovering above.

But at least I caught it.

A once in a lifetime thing.

Suteki da ne?